Friday, November 15, 2019

Fat Friday #17: Do Not Ignore the Hangry

Thanks to my decades-long abusive marriage to ED, my hunger cues are jacked, and my responses to them can be screwy too. 

Yesterday, I didn't eat all afternoon. I was busy working on things, and when I felt that little rumbly in my tumbly, I didn't do like Winnie the Pooh and grab a smackerel of Hunny. I ignored it and kept working. I learned long ago that I'm not allowed to eat unless I become absolutely ravenous, and that's a bad pattern that I tend to fall back into. I wasn't in a particularly bad place emotionally. I was on a pretty even keel with myself, in a neutral place as far as my body is concerned, which is the best that can be expected for me. I was just busy, and eating was inconvenient.

Nine o' clock at night rolled around, and I was ravenous. I had a big bag of beer-battered shrimp in the fridge. I was so hungry that all I could think of was eating everything in sight, so I cooked and ate that whole bag of shrimp.

During my entrenchment into Diet Culture, the next thing that would have happened would be for me to berate myself, call myself all sorts of horrible names, possibly spend a few hours working out to punish myself for my dieting "failure". 

In this case, I ended up saying "blah, I don't feel so good. Next time, I'll cook a regular serving and see if I want more after I eat that."

Bingeing is a natural response to food restriction, whether that restriction is deliberate or due to difficult circumstances. As Caroline Dooner points out in her marvelous book, The Fuck It Diet, your body doesn't know whether you're in the middle of a famine or simply trying to starve yourself thin enough to wear a ridiculously small bikini. It will respond the same way in either case.

By the way, you know that "hangry" feeling that happens when you're really hungry but don't have any food on hand or you're on your millionth diet that's going to Work Perfectly This Time And Make You Skinny and Hot Forever?

That feeling is telling you that YOU NEED TO EAT!

By the way, Hangry is that worm in the picture at the top of the post. He does not like to be ignored.

Do not ignore the Hangry.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

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