Friday, November 22, 2019

Fat Friday #18: Wouldn't It Be Nice for a Diabetic to Find Low-Carb Options Without the Weight Loss Shilling?


So I ordered something from Amazon which ended up being fulfilled by Wal-Fart, and there was a free sample of an Atkins lemon bar in there. I ate it, and it was pretty tasty. I decided that as a diabetic, it might be nice to have a supply of these things on hand for those times when I want candy but don't want to inject extra insulin.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a product that was a tasty snack with a low glycemic impact where it's true purpose was being helpful for diabetics rather than SO U CAN LOOSE WEIGHT!!11!1!1 AGAIN!!11!1!1 FOR THE TEN FUCKING TRILLIONTH TIME!!11!!1! UNLESS YOU'VE ALREADY DIETED SO GOD DAMN MUCH THAT YOU'LL NEVER LOSE ANOTHER POUND IN YOUR LIFE UNLESS YOU FUCKING GET CANCER!!!1!1!1!1

Yeah. I hate that shit. 

It's like if I eat one of these things I have to do it in a dark closet or something because otherwise, people will start congratulating my WEIGHT LOSS EFFORTS!!!11!1

Like, no.

I'm 999% done with that shit.

I will never diet again.

Diets don't work.

Fuck diets.

I don't care about the number on the scale.

I'm concerned about the one on the blood glucometer.

As for exercise, I'm not doing that to fucking LOSE WEIGHT!!!11!!! either. 

I'm trying to rebuild my strength and endurance.

I'm not able to go very far very fast yet. 

"But you'll get stronger..."

Sounds good, I hope I do.

AND THEN THE POUNDS WILL START COMING OFF!!!1!1!1

Fuck right off before I power-slam your ass through a wall. I may be physically compromised, but the rage inspired by crap like that will make me a beast.

Fuck your fucking weight loss rhetoric.

Just let my diabetic self enjoy the god damn Atkins bar.

Fuck's sake.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~


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