Monday, February 22, 2021

About Me Monday: To Sleep Perchance?


Image by jay Clarke from Pixabay

This is a response to a post by Kendra about writers and sleep.

Sleep and I have never seen eye to eye. 

My mother delights in telling people what an awful baby I was because I would, apparently, never sleep for more than two hours at a time. 

I learned much later in life that I had ADHD, which accounted for my being "scatterbrained," a "space cadet," and "flaky". 

However, my son also has ADHD, and while his sleep patterns are all over the place (sometimes he goes to bed around 6 PM, sometimes at midnight, sometimes not till the wee hours of the morning) he always slept well as a baby. In fact, I had to wake him up every 2 hours to feed him because his blood sugar was prone to crashing.

My son thinks that he may have a 25-hour circadian rhythm. It makes sense to me. He's high-functioning autistic, which may affect his sleep as well. Outside of his issues with anxiety and depression, his sleep issues are a key factor in why he has never been able to hold a "normal" job.

Back when I was still working, I had problems with not being able to fall asleep at night and, conversely, falling asleep during the day. Unless, of course, I wanted to. I had trouble falling asleep when I got home after working a night shift. However, I had to fight to stay awake while driving home. I would roll the window down to let the cold air blast me in the face. I would pinch and punch myself. I would blast music and sing at the top of my lungs.

The inability to sleep if I had to work in the morning may have been partly due to anxiety. I didn't really want to go to work and was afraid of fucking up. I got sent home from one temp job for being sleepy. Even now that I'm on disability and am usually able to fall asleep by midnight, I still have issues with daytime sleepiness, which was one of the issues that led to my being approved for disability. 

There is a huge stigma on people who aren't the "early to bed, early to rise" type. All you have to do is get to bed earlier like the Good and Saintly do. Easy enough, unless you just aren't wired that way.

~Sleepy Cie~

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Come as You Are Party: Healthy? Meh, Whatever. I Like Cheese.


We're gonna need to shred a little more than that!

This is my irreverent response to a post on Fiona McGier's blog.

If you wanna be healthy forever, drop whatever you're doing, grab an insulin pen, dial the desired number of units and stick yourself in the abdomen! It's all the rage! Everybody's doing it!

Oh, wait.

It's actually not a good idea if you aren't diabetic.

So...yeah. I'm doing it.

Dark chocolate is good. It requires fewer insulin units than milk chocolate. 

I like beer and wine but literally can't have more than a sip or two thanks to all my damn medications.

Sex? Even though I write spicy stories, I'm happier without it and all the hell that comes with it. I know, I know, there are good guys out there. I actually had one. He died. The rest were meh to terrible in their treatment of me, so my ratio isn't great and at this point I have the libido of a flat tire anyway and would just as soon not reinflate it. 

Also, I like cheese. Don't know how "healthy" it is in the scheme of things. Don't give a damn either. I just like it.

I have too many chronic health problems for anyone to see me as healthy. I've had to stop thinking of myself as defective because of them. It's not good for my mental health.

Thursday, February 18, 2021

♥.•*¨Author Elizabeth Mueller¨*•.♥: IWSG: Blogosphere Friendship

♥.•*¨Author Elizabeth Mueller¨*•.♥: IWSG: Blogosphere Friendship

It's like real life, few and far between and some people who I've thought were my friends turned out to not be very good friends at all. Sometimes it's made me feel really awful about myself that with billions of people in the world I'm so unlikable. These days, I'm too tired to dwell on it much. 

Also, there are "friends" and there are friends. When guitarist Robbin Crosby became sick from AIDS, he said "I used to think that I had all the friends in the world. When I got sick, I learned that I could count my real friends on one hand."

Womag and other writing: February is for friendships

Womag and other writing: February is for friendships

I'm not an easy person to make friends with. I tend to form superficial connections. Sadly, I greatly doubt that I'll ever meet any of the people I'd consider actual friends. My health tends to make traveling difficult.

Saturday, February 13, 2021

An Introvert in an Extrovert's World


Image by doodlartdotcom from Pixabay

This is a response to Anstice Brown's IWSG post about blogging friends.

"There are several bloggers whom I’m very fond of and admire greatly, but my particular brand of introversion means that I’m pretty useless at maintaining real-life friendships, let alone the online variety."

Me too. I have a handful of online friends with whom I communicate outside of blogging, and that's sporadic. I am by no means a social butterfly. I often really wish my stories would just speak for themselves so I didn't have to network, because it isn't natural to me. I'm very awkward at it. I'm the kind of person who lurks by a large plant at a party and hopes that no-one notices me. Thankfully, I no longer feel beholden to go to parties.

Murderous Imaginings : IWSG - Friendship

Murderous Imaginings : IWSG - Friendship

I'm working on the WEP entry. I can't say that I've formed a lot of friendships through blogging, but I'm a tough nut to crack. I tend to keep my shell hard and my interactions superficial.

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Mes crazy expériences: WeWriWar 340: The House at the Crossing 46

Mes crazy expériences: WeWriWar 340: The House at the Crossing 46:   Hello everybody and welcome for a new Sunday of writing with Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday !   How are you doing? 

A fascinating mystery. It would be cool if a room could appear for me to put stuff whenever I needed, though!

Faeries, Dragons, and Spaceships: #IWSG Balance and pivoting

Faeries, Dragons, and Spaceships: #IWSG Balance and pivoting:   

I was pushed off the regular job train by disability. I'm still waiting for SSDI to get their heads out of their backsides and approve me. I know it can literally take years, and it's unconscionable to me. 

I do write every day, but I don't have an exact word count. I write what I write. It probably averages 1000 words a day anyway. I have ADHD, and I'm always working on numerous projects.

I honestly didn't know who I was without my job, and it took me a long time to adjust. I started working when I was 16. Except for a brief period of time when my son was very little, I've never been without a job. 

I don't know how to take breaks. I tend to feel guilty when I do. I was always a workaholic, and that behavior led to my becoming disabled. 

I wish that society didn't encourage workaholism. Looking back, there were glaring signs that I was completely overwhelmed, but I ignored them until it was too late because I was afraid to look at who I was outside of my work persona.

Monday, February 8, 2021

Tea, Sigh, Create: February - Insecure Writers Support Group

Tea, Sigh, Create: February - Insecure Writers Support Group: February 3 question - Blogging is often more than just sharing stories. It’s often the start of special friendships and relationships. 

I can definitely relate to the feeling that friendship is a tricky thing. I am by no means a social butterfly. You must be doing something right, as you have quite a few comments. I'm always surprised if I get any, honestly.

I forgot to mention intimidated. I tend to feel overwhelmed if I get numerous comments. I'm so used to being ignored that I don't know what to do when people respond to my work.

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Dreamers, lovers, and Star Voyagers: WeWriWa: EU62

Dreamers, lovers, and Star Voyagers: WeWriWa: EU62:   Hello fellow warriors. :-) Happy last weekend in January! It's almost the month of Cupid, Mardi Gras, and a short month to bo...

Feeling out of control is the worst. Fortunately, Emmily seems rather level-headed.

A friend of mine has been diabetic since childhood. He has been battling throat cancer. A nurse was sent to his home and took over doing his blood glucose tests and injections. This was actually one aspect of his life that he felt he could control, and to have that taken away from him sent him into such a bad state of anxiety that he had to be hospitalized. 

Giving people as much control as possible over their own lives is important. I don't expect invading extraterrestrials care much about that, though!

Diane Burton: #IWSG: Friendships

Diane Burton: #IWSG: Friendships:   Happy Insecure Writer's Support Group Day. IWSG is the brainchild of Ninja Captain  Alex J. Cavanaugh . Purpose: To share and encourag...

I always encourage people to keep on keeping on. We can't compare ourselves to others. It's advice I should take myself. Do as I say, not as I do!