My Charity Sunday post this month features a potential chapter from the autobiography/motivational book that I've intended to publish for years. Here are a few sentences to give you an idea of what you're getting into.
In my younger days, I enjoyed mind-altering drugs quite a lot. Anything that allowed me to forget my despised self and my shitty reality was a welcome companion. My party pals thought I was a bit nuts when I said that I'd rather sit in the corner drinking a six-pack by myself than hook up with a random dude for meaningless sex, but I didn't really give a rat's ass what they thought. I liked my substances, and it felt like my substances liked me.
There are things that I'm starting to understand now that so many decades have passed between me and those days of smoke and drink and the occasional pill or hit of acid. I really hated myself and I was dying to escape the garbage reality that was my life. I wouldn't have minded if I'd literally died.
I was self-harming, and I made a half-assed suicide attempt that landed me on the psych ward for a weekend. While on the psych ward, I received lots of compassionate help, learned that I was a wonderfully worthwhile young lady, and never touched alcohol or drugs again.
Psych! I'm just messing with you.
If you liked that crap, continue reading the rest of the post by following the link below.
Every comment I receive on the linked post translates to a buck for the American Art Therapy Association. Support independent weirdness and a great cause too!
Don't feel like you have to leave a comment on both this post and the Charity Sunday post. One or the other is fine.
~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~
Free use image from Open Clipart Vectors
Ornery Owl's mind is filled with the seeds of ideas.
Sometimes they all blossom at once.
Hop to It
Brutal honesty can be hard to read-and hard to write. I'm glad you've found the time and place where you can be he you are and say what you want to say without caring about judgement. It's liberating. :-)
ReplyDeleteIt really is. I'd like this blog to reach more people but worry a bit about the trolls. I've had to deal with some real asshats before.
DeleteI hope my earlier comment got through. I didn't see the pop up today informing me that it would appear after review.
ReplyDeleteThat is an intense snippet of reality. It must have been a scary moment in your life. How courageous to share it and hopefully help someone else in need. To feel like suicide is the answer is nothing to mess around with. I lost two cousins to suicide and it breaks my heart. Both were young and left behind children and family who miss them terribly.
ReplyDeleteOne of my cousins overdosed when she was in her early 40s. This may sound odd but I think accepting the fact that I have a depressive personality has helped me stop chasing some kind of impossible happiness. When I was younger I just felt like such a freak. I didn't have the perspective that getting old and crabby gives a person.
DeleteOh, i hope you're in a better frame of mind nowadays ♥
ReplyDeleteTime and perspective have helped. I don't imagine I'll ever be mistaken for Pollyanna though!
Delete- love the last line - show a lot about the character.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Sorry I'm so late - busy busy day.
You never have to apologize to me about not being Jenny on the Spot. Sometimes it takes me a week to visit people and sometimes I get sidetracked.
DeleteYou've been a busy blogger lately, Cie! Well done!
ReplyDeleteOr just a nutty bunny. ;-)
DeleteThanks for visiting.
Interesting autobiography start
ReplyDelete"I liked my substances, and it felt like my substances liked me" - the feels are real with this quote! (I feel this way about all the foods I shouldn't be eating, too, which is definitely not the same thing...but they call to me and show me love.)
ReplyDeleteAs someone who became bulimic at 12 years old, I always had a love-hate relationship with food. I try to avoid labeling foods as good or bad and steer clear of the diet culture mindset because that can put me back in a bad place. I'm enough of a control freak that I want to have good blood sugar readings so I try to eat a balanced diet. Still, I have periods where my abusive partner ED (Eating Disorder) will start lulling me into believing that I need to starve myself. Most of the time I'm in a place where I can tell him to fuck off.
DeleteI recommend reading Health at Every Size and The Fuck It Diet.