Friday, November 8, 2019

Fat Friday #16: Would I Have Gotten This Fat Without the "Help" of Diet Culture?

Diet Culture:
It makes about this much sense
And actually believes this shit

A response to this post on Dances With Fat.

I will admit to wondering at times whether I would have gotten as big as I did if I hadn't fallen into diet culture's clutches when I was just a kid. I became bulimic at twelve. I would see those ads for Ayds candy in my mother's magazines. Does anyone else remember these things? They were chocolate caramels with lidocaine in them. I bought a box of them once as an adult. They didn't work, by the way. Shocker, I know.
I have a myriad of endocrine problems, but I still wonder if I would have kept gaining weight or had ravenous cravings for food or alternated between binge eating and restricting food if it hadn't been for diet culture. I do know that it's internalized fatphobia that there's a part of my psyche which says: "you might not be this fat if you hadn't started dieting." Logically, I know that the number on the scale doesn't matter. I don't even own a scale. But I also wonder if my overall health wouldn't be better if I'd given diet culture a miss. 
Orthorexia caused me a few problems which have come back to haunt me in my middle years. I'm trying to rebuild my strength and stamina without making weight loss part of the equation. It isn't easy and I get no support for my efforts at all. If you aren't trying to lose weight, you will find no cheerleaders for any other efforts relating to physical fitness or overall health.
I also tend not to mention any efforts I may be making, because the first thing people say is something like: "keep it up and you'll start dropping those pounds in no time!"
Like, no, Asshole. Whether I lose any weight or not is not important to me. Fuck right off with that shit. Obsession with weight has only impacted my health negatively. Kindly stop trying to kill me.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

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