Friday, June 11, 2021

Fat Friday: I'm Finally Gonna be Skinny, You Guys!


I'm going to share this miraculous letter that I got in my email! It was entitled: EXTRA WEIGHT? MAYBE IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT!

Ooh! Inspiring! This is just the email I've been waiting for my entire life!

It went a little bit something like this:

Hello Ornery Owl,

Statistically, a large majority of women admit to feeling unsafe in public places. Most women take some measures to avoid harm, whether it’s carrying a gun or mace, or dressing down and dimming their light – or hiding behind a few extra pounds.

I'm not "hiding behind a few extra pounds," Ms. Fatphobe. I'm fat, and I tend to dress colorfully. People can see me coming, I guarantee it.
It’s easy to understand why the feelings of unsafety are so prominent. The news is filled with stories of attacks and abuse, and many of us have had direct experiences – either first-hand or witnessing someone close to us.  

Fat women do tend to be targeted for abuse. The answer isn't making everyone thin, it's confronting abusive attitudes towards fat people. 
In addition to the current conditions, ancestral memories and conditioning from historical events contribute to the beliefs which make up the collective consciousness. We take in the information and develop beliefs and behavior patterns from the perpetuation of messages and from the energy that is in the air.

If you say so. Sometimes I think people can't see what hit them because they have their head too far up their own ass.
The vibrations of fear are a part of the cosmic soup we swim in. They affect us on deep subconscious levels, and we may have no idea why we feel a certain way or behave a certain way. 

Yeah, the collective unconscious does seem to be a pretty big shithole. This is thanks to terrible attitudes not being confronted, not to the fact that I'm fat.
And it’s no wonder we turn to food. Food, by design, gives us comfort – nurturing, sustenance and safety – in any times of uncertainty. It connects us to our bodies and to the earth. It helps pacify us and calm our fears. It can fill a void in a moment of loneliness. Food is imperative to safety and survival. It’s no wonder we crave when we are not physically hungry.

Except that I no longer turn to food, and nor do a lot of fat people. People are fat for many different reasons, not just because we're always stuffing our gobs. A lot of people do struggle with binge eating, whether with or without purging. Why not address the issue of binge eating without suggesting that everyone who is binge eats is a shameful, hideous glutton?
If any of this lights up your truth meter, just know --- it’s not your fault. You are not broken!

Sister, I am broken.

I'm broken by people's shitty attitudes towards me because I'm a woman, because I'm fat, because I'm poor, because I have mental health issues, because, because, because. I'm tired of carrying that fucking burden. 

For some reason, you seem to think that losing weight will solve all these problems.

Think again. 

Now that I'm approaching 60 and live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, I no longer have predatory males thinking they can get a piece of me because I'm vulnerable. But if you don't think I've been hit on by creepy guys because I'm fat, not conventionally attractive, and one day older than dirt, think again. 

These fucking fucks go after women they think are desperate. Once they learned that I wouldn't touch them with someone else's hands, of course they told me I was fat and ugly. They told me the same thing when I weighed 150 pounds less than I do now and was 25 years younger than I am now. They're like a fucking broken record.

But you can do something about it. You can release the old established patterning, reclaim your personal power, and regain control over your body and your choices.

Translation: You can stop being fat and finally become the Princess You Were Meant to Be. Same turd, new coat of paint.
Want to know more?

I want to know how I got on your mailing list.

You’re invited to join me this coming Tuesday, June 15th for a LIVE Coaching call.

Yeah, thanks but no thanks. New Age Weight Watchers isn't speaking my language.
I want to hear from you and help you release the blocks that are keeping you stuck in old subconscious eating habits or hiding behind extra weight. 

Lucky for you, I sent you an email about why I'm not doing either of things and why I and other women like me are offended that you would assume that we will flock to sign up for this bullshit because, obviously, fat is The Very Worst Thing A Person Can Possibly Be.

I want to help you reclaim your personal power and make choices that love and support your body and your heart.

Money would go a long way to helping me "reclaim my personal power." Please send me some.

I don't know how many of my choices "love" my body or my heart. 

I think the word "love" is way fucking overused.

I doubt that I will ever "love" myself. I can't fucking stand myself half the time.

You know what I have learned to do?

Respect myself, so fuckers like you can't take advantage of my vulnerabilities.

I make the choice to respect myself and not buy into this load of horseshit.

 I'm excited to share some important updates on the topic of Food, Weight & Feminine Power, and I’d love to connect with you LIVE and learn what your challenges are.

This shit reminds me of some old (crappy) mantras.

"Men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."

"If you don't squeeze it, nobody else will."

"If you can pinch an inch, it's time to go on a diet."

"No one wants to fuck a fat girl."

Except, believe me, plenty of them are fine with fucking a fat girl. They think we're desperate, so we won't say no. They dare each other to have sex with us. That feels pretty fucking shitty.

Then some "well-meaning" fucker like you comes along with the Sisterly Act, telling vulnerable women all about how they can regain that Pussy Power by changing our bodies from obese, disgusting blobs of lard to lean, mean, man-eating machines. 

You want to know what my challenges are?

To say fuck a whole lot of this shit. Every fucking day of my life.

To make sure that ED never takes control of my life again.

To eat enough food, believe it or not. ED loves to praise me when I starve myself.

To eat primarily foods that are helpful for my diabetes.

To remember that while some foods need to be eaten in moderation (because of my diabetes) no food is forbidden. Forbidding foods (unless they're straight-up going to kill you, such as a peanut allergy) makes them taboo, which makes them enticing, which fires up the cravings like nobody's business. Fuck a whole lot of that shit.
BE SURE TO MARK YOUR CALENDAR – copy the meeting info above to your calendar and set your reminder.

No thanks.
If you have questions you want answered on the call, you can email me now. Just reply to this email. 

I did.

See you there!! 

Debra Mastura Graugnard

You won't see me there, Debra, because you have nothing to say that could possibly help me. I hope you read my email, but I'm sure you learned nothing at all from it. So it goes.

And now, here's the email that I sent to Debra.

I know my weight isn't my fault, and I and many other larger women don't appreciate being pathologized for our bodies. Many of us do NOT overeat, which is always the assumption. I have several endocrine problems which affect not only my weight but my skin, my sleep, my stamina, and pretty much every aspect of my life. I also yo-yo dieted myself to the point where I can eat very few calories on any given day and still not lose weight.

I made the decision eleven years ago that I was not going to spend the rest of my life trying to hate myself thin. First, barring a terminal illness, I will never be thin. Perhaps if I do as my great-grandmother did, I will become thin. She contracted acute myelogenous leukemia, went from 300 pounds to 95 in the space of a year, and then died. Yes, I might do that someday.

Perhaps I've already "regained power over my life" by realizing that being heavy does not make me a bad, disgusting, broken, or even ugly person, no matter what the rest of the world has been brainwashed into believing by the multi-billion dollar diet industry. The diet industry would be abolished overnight if people opened their eyes to the damage it does, and also realized the fact that the diet industry relies on this factor: DIETS DON'T WORK. 

Only approximately 5 percent of people who go on weight reduction diets keep the weight off for longer than five years. These people are known as unicorns. For the rest of us, the weight tends to return with friends. We diet it off multiple times only to regain it, and then our metabolisms become broken.

I already fight with my abusive partner ED (stands for Eating Disorder) from the moment I wake up in the morning. ED likes hearing that THIS TIME IT'S GONNA WORK because then I will let ED control my life. I, on the other hand, don't believe for a single second that THIS TIME IT'S GONNA WORK, and I'm not going to let ED control my life.

I've already "taken back my power." This may not look like what people think it should look like, because, you know, it hasn't made me thin and pretty, but I have done so nonetheless. I don't need to be thin and pretty. Other people need to realize that they need to treat those that they don't find attractive with the same degree of common decency as those whose looks please them.

Ornery Owl

Fat and Ornery
Free use image by Open Clipart Vectors

Free use image from Pixabay

The late Tard, bastion of grumpy wisdom, whose resting bitch face will never rest.

Tuesday, June 8, 2021

Hope. Dreams. Life... Love: Saturday Sample and Weekend Writing Warriors

Hope. Dreams. Life... Love: Saturday Sample and Weekend Writing Warriors:   For a couple of weeks I'll be sharing excerpts from Rest Thy Head. First a blurb, and then an excerpt. Blurb: Running away from a fian...

I get where the hero is coming from. I think I mentioned before that although I don't have scars on my face, I have rosacea, which causes the skin on my face to be red and sometimes break out. It makes me feel rather self-conscious. 

I'd rather have my foot run over by a freight train than ever be romantically involved again, but I still wish that I didn't have this skin issue. Even on my best days, though, I tend to feel like I'm the most hideously ugly thing that ever walked the Earth.

Saturday, June 5, 2021


... MICHAEL DI GESU ... ... ... In Time ... ...: SIX MONTHS INTO A NEW YEAR...WHAT HAVE YOU ACCOMPL...:   Hi All,  Welcome to another IWSG post.  Thanks to the talents of Alex J Cavanough and the AMAZING IWSG staff we are able to vent our insec...

I'm disabled and am kind of a recluse anyway, so the lockdown didn't bother me. I'm sorry to see the traffic getting back to normal in the cities, aka, congested. I was hoping that businesses would at least see that there were certain jobs that could be done remotely, thus easing up the commuting madness somewhat.