Hope. Dreams. Life... Love: Saturday Sample and Weekend Writing Warriors

Hope. Dreams. Life... Love: Saturday Sample and Weekend Writing Warriors:   For a couple of weeks I'll be sharing excerpts from Rest Thy Head. First a blurb, and then an excerpt. Blurb: Running away from a fian...

I get where the hero is coming from. I think I mentioned before that although I don't have scars on my face, I have rosacea, which causes the skin on my face to be red and sometimes break out. It makes me feel rather self-conscious. 

I'd rather have my foot run over by a freight train than ever be romantically involved again, but I still wish that I didn't have this skin issue. Even on my best days, though, I tend to feel like I'm the most hideously ugly thing that ever walked the Earth.

OctPoWriMo 2019: Day 21: Screaming Inside Myself

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I'm screaming into the wind

enough is enough

I've had it with having to let go

nobody ever wants to hold on

to the ugly one

to the one no-one pursues

to the one men go out with on a dare

memories of being the laughingstock

overwhelm me

I want to hide inside forever

I want to dance a little

but my body is broken

I don't laugh and sing in my dreams

I don't expect anything

except more rejection

don't reach out

stay inside

run and hide

nobody hears

and if they hear they don't listen

and if they listen

they don't understand

I'm forever screaming inside myself

because I know nobody hears

~Cie~

Notes:

Sorry, but I'm rubbish at making shape poems and I just got through writing a book review and I haven't even gotten to writing a chapter in my own story yet, so you get this tortured-scream free verse, in part inspired by the song I'm about to share, one to which I've been able to relate to all too well in my life.

Please, I implore you, this is one of those don't try to fix me pieces. Let me let it bleed. If there's one place a person ought to be able to express the dark, the bitter, the broken, that place is poetry.

Also, please don't say "I hope this isn't autobiographical."

It is, and saying that will not make it not autobiographical.

Let me let it bleed.
The aftermath of bullying is forever.

Carpe Diem Renga with Jane Reichhold: Placing the Flute

Image Source

wind perfumed

from a woman's shoulder

desert night

beauty of the soul hidden

beneath harsh exterior

dancing on the beach

I jab a stick into the sky

to break up the blue

blue for those loved by the world

sky is never blue for me

days so complete

words become the calls of birds

the high tide wind

what would it be to feel joy

satisfied at the day's end

placing the flute

against her lips something

slips into place

stupid girl that I once was

believing I could be more

I'm not old

all night my eyes have held

the ancient stars

I was broken before birth

my heart has never been young

moon white water

lovers in the secret cove

Saturday night

I walk on by full knowing

there is nothing there for me

~Jane & Cie~

Notes:

It's possible that for once in my train wreck of an existence I managed to follow directions and didn't, say, create Troiku where Renga was called for. SMDH at my failure to brain when it comes to even the simplest things.

The Hokku (Haiku) of these Renga were created by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The Ageku (two-line stanza) were created by me.

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 14: Pink Sakura Blush

Cherry Blossoms

pink sakura blush  

spring’s kimono falls to earth

silk snatched by a breeze

pink sakura blush

singing song of sakura

many years ago

spring's kimono falls to earth

the young men choose their partners

nobody chose me

silk snatched by a breeze

like a dream that won't come true

drift into the past

Kim & Cie

Notes:

The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Kim R. Russell. The Three Dejected Horses of the Apocalypse are my responsibility.

Many of these prompts lately are reminding me of the year when I was in the fourth grade and I learned about Japan. I was a very shy and unpopular child with a terrible overbite, always chosen last for sports teams, and none of the boys wanted to dance with me at the school socials.