Monday, October 21, 2019

OctPoWriMo 2019: Day 21: Screaming Inside Myself

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I'm screaming into the wind
enough is enough
I've had it with having to let go

nobody ever wants to hold on
to the ugly one
to the one no-one pursues

to the one men go out with on a dare
memories of being the laughingstock
overwhelm me

I want to hide inside forever
I want to dance a little
but my body is broken

I don't laugh and sing in my dreams
I don't expect anything
except more rejection

don't reach out
stay inside
run and hide

nobody hears
and if they hear they don't listen
and if they listen

they don't understand
I'm forever screaming inside myself
because I know nobody hears


Sorry, but I'm rubbish at making shape poems and I just got through writing a book review and I haven't even gotten to writing a chapter in my own story yet, so you get this tortured-scream free verse, in part inspired by the song I'm about to share, one to which I've been able to relate to all too well in my life.
Please, I implore you, this is one of those don't try to fix me pieces. Let me let it bleed. If there's one place a person ought to be able to express the dark, the bitter, the broken, that place is poetry.
Also, please don't say "I hope this isn't autobiographical."
It is, and saying that will not make it not autobiographical.
Let me let it bleed.
The aftermath of bullying is forever.

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