OctPoWriMo 2019: Day 21: Screaming Inside Myself

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I'm screaming into the wind

enough is enough

I've had it with having to let go

nobody ever wants to hold on

to the ugly one

to the one no-one pursues

to the one men go out with on a dare

memories of being the laughingstock

overwhelm me

I want to hide inside forever

I want to dance a little

but my body is broken

I don't laugh and sing in my dreams

I don't expect anything

except more rejection

don't reach out

stay inside

run and hide

nobody hears

and if they hear they don't listen

and if they listen

they don't understand

I'm forever screaming inside myself

because I know nobody hears

~Cie~

Notes:

Sorry, but I'm rubbish at making shape poems and I just got through writing a book review and I haven't even gotten to writing a chapter in my own story yet, so you get this tortured-scream free verse, in part inspired by the song I'm about to share, one to which I've been able to relate to all too well in my life.

Please, I implore you, this is one of those don't try to fix me pieces. Let me let it bleed. If there's one place a person ought to be able to express the dark, the bitter, the broken, that place is poetry.

Also, please don't say "I hope this isn't autobiographical."

It is, and saying that will not make it not autobiographical.

Let me let it bleed.
The aftermath of bullying is forever.