Thursday, October 31, 2019

FOAD Thursday: "Think Thin" foods

It's not that Think Thin's food tastes bad. 

Their instant oatmeal is less sweet than Quaker's instant oatmeal, plus it has added protein and fiber.

Their snack bars taste pretty good.

But they can FOAD with their push for obsession on thinness.

"Think Thin."

In other words, obsess about your weight. 

It doesn't matter if you feel better physically when you aren't fashionably emaciated.

It doesn't matter if you have no energy when you're fashionably emaciated.

It doesn't matter if the hair on your head starts falling out while the hair on your body increases and your periods stop although you're too young for menopause and you become prone to stress fractures when you become fashionably emaciated.

It doesn't matter if you think about food constantly because your body is malnourished.

It doesn't matter if you'd rather focus on other things beside your weight, either because its stupid to obsess about your weight in the first place, or because you have a history of eating disorders so you don't want to obsess about your weight, or you have a fucked-up endocrine system so you know you're always going to be fat unless you become critically ill.

You need to THINK THIN, Bitch.

Because nothing is more important than being thin.

Not satiation.

Not happiness.

Not peace of mind.

Better deat than fat, amirite?

There is nothing worse in the world than being fat.

So, you better THINK THIN!

No matter what you'd rather be doing, THINK THIN!

No matter if you want to make peace with yourself because trying to hate yourself thin is a fucking waste of time and energy.


Obsess on that thinness, you bitches!

Obey the edict that grown-ass women should look like pre-pubescent girls.

And be subservient like pre-pubescent girls.


How about fuck right off with that shit?

Honestly, it would have been better if they'd named this product High in Fiber So You Can Take A Proper Poop. Or Eh, It Tastes Better Than The Wrapper It Came In. Or, This Shit Doesn't Have As Many Preservatives As Some Similar Shit. 

Anything but Think Thin.

So, here's a big fat FOAD for the manufacturers of Think Thin products for this Thursday's FOAD.

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