Unsurprising News Flash: Cie is a Loser

Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

So, the results are in from the April story competition, and to nobody's surprise, the Universe's biggest loser is, as usual, not even an also-ran. I really don't know why I keep doing this to myself.

I tried to comment on everyone's sites, but a lot of Wordpress filters are very aggressive and assume my comments are Spam. I did my best.

I really hate myself for reading the post because I am a very odd writer (and a very odd person) and I do not win things. I don't care, but I have this really crappy inner critic who will berate me for it until doomsday. I used to destroy any story I wrote which was rejected for publication or from a contest such as this one. It was literally physically painful to do that, so I don't do it anymore.
I am stunningly, astoundingly, earth-shatteringly bad at everything, and I don't know why the hell I even try. I am not a winner. I am not even a placer.
When I was in high school, I came in dead last in a cross-country race. My father wanted me to be a runner. I really didn't, but I would have done better running sprints. I've never been a good distance runner.
That race was kind of a foreshadowing for my entire life.
I will always be last.
I will always be unwanted.
I was always the last one picked for teams.
I will never be anyone's first choice.
I'm the kid who got invited to birthdays only because the birthday boy or girl's parents made them invite me.
It does not feel good being the one nobody wants.
It does not feel good always being the odd one out.
It does not feel good being me.

~Cie the Loser~