Sunday, March 24, 2019

Big Bad Missus Sour Mash and Cheap Wine

Image by Niek Verlaan from Pixabay

 I first started blogging in 2006, some 13 years ago, and I've seen a lot of blogs since then. I've also seen what I think is a positive change since I first started blogging, and I'd like to think that it happened in part because of people like me standing up and saying "we're not gonna take it anymore."
Back in those days, I saw a lot of posts which went a little bit something like this:
"I'm soooo happy! Life is soooo wonderful!!!1!! Every day is a gift!!1!!1!1 I just don't understand the kind of ungrateful people who are soooo negative and only see the bad things when life is soooooo goood!!1!1!1"
Admissibly, I hadn't come into my own yet, so to speak. I'd just been diagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder a couple of years earlier, and I was still at the point where even though I was transparent about it, I felt the need to explain myself at every turn.
I initially tried to gently explain to people that some people have mood disorders like depression and bipolar disorder which may not allow us to always see the world as a wonderful place. It can be hard for people with mental health issues to hold a regular job, and many of us end up living in poverty. This creates a downward spiral. So, while it's wonderful that you're happy and life is great for you, it isn't great for everyone and a little empathy would be nice.
Some people got it. There was this nice fellow who worked as a bus driver in Hawaii who said he wished everyone could have a happy life, but he liked people just as they were, including people who couldn't be happy.
Then there was this one particularly dreadful individual, who referred to herself as "little miss sweet tea and sunshine." Well, if that wasn't enough to make you puke in your corn flakes to start with, it gets worse.
She literally said all the awful things I wrote at the beginning of this blog, and, as I recall, also used odious terms like "Negative Nellie" and "Debbie Downer." Just out of curiosity, do people like this think that all depressive people are women? I mean, are there no Negative Neds or Danny Downers?
She made further untrue assertions, such as "being happy is a choice," and so all the Negative Nellies need to do is choose to be happy, and then they can be a Good Person (TM) instead of a bad old Polly Poopy-Pants.
At that point, I was done with being gentle. This chick was so full of herself and her head was so deep in her Happy Crappy screed that I pulled out all the stops and told her that people like her needed to develop some understanding and empathy for those who were not able to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and force themselves to stop that "stinkin' thinkin'," that mood disorders and poverty were real things, and that some people would do well to educate themselves rather than making odious assertions such as "happiness is a choice."
These days I tend to adopt the tactic of educating the ignorant rather than letting everyone have both barrels first and ask questions later, but I don't let people who are inflexible and intolerant hang around. Anyone who thinks I'm going to be grateful if they try to "fix" me and who continually implies that I am "lesser" because of my mental health issues will be removed from my sphere, just like any concern troll who sees the need to admonish me to "lose weight for your health."
As far as the weight loss thing, anyone who sees the need to give me that particular bit of advice can step on a scale, note their weight, and fuck off. I've just lost however much they weigh, and I feel fantastic!



This is a safe space. Be respectful.