Saturday, February 16, 2019

No Great Loss

So I went to the ob/gyn today and discovered that my endometrium has become thick again. The doctor told me that she had removed 2 cm of the endometrium when she did the biopsy last year which has now grown back. She says the reason it is growing back is that it's being stimulated by the fibroids, and this is the reason I had such heavy periods back when I still got periods. 
My periods were so heavy that I didn't bleed, I hemorrhaged. I easily went through a heavy pad every two hours if not sooner.
I honestly don't care if anyone is a squeamish little lily-livered crybaby about periods. Suck it up, Buttercup. Periods are a thing. They aren't going to disappear just because you think they're icky-poo. 
The doctor really wants me to get my uterus removed because although the cells are currently normal, she thinks that the constant stimulation may push them into becoming cancerous. I thought about it, and I say "fuck it." It isn't as if it would be any great loss if I were to get cancer. It would just mean that I'd die of cancer rather than something else. So what?
Everything dies. Some things make positive contributions. Those things are worth saving. I contribute nothing worthwhile, and there's no chance that I ever will. My death would be pretty much wart removal as far as society is concerned. Best lose the dead weight.
Perhaps that is what should be put on my tombstone, although it is unlikely that I will have one.
No great loss.


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