February 7 question: What turns you off when visiting an author's website/blog? Lack of information? A drone of negativity? Little mention of author's books? Constant mention of books?
I don’t blog very much anymore, but back when I was more prolific, I was one of those bloggers who got a lot of flak for writing too much about too many different things and also having too many blogs. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had undiagnosed ADHD. As has happened to me all my life, people took a dump on me for the fact that my brain works differently.
I also took a lot of crap for writing about my psychological struggles. At the time, I had been misdiagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder. The diagnosis seemed to fit because there was a pattern of ups and downs. I didn’t realize until I was in my fifties that I had complex PTSD and was dealing with a fuck-ton of untreated trauma. I won’t go in depth here, but I think “borderline personality disorder” is a sexist, bullshit diagnosis. It is the modern-day hysterical neurotic. (I’m old enough that I’ve had both of these labels applied to me.)
Every single person with a “borderline personality disorder” label slapped on them has a history of trauma. The label is overwhelmingly applied to women and girls. If you are looking at someone with a “borderline personality disorder” diagnosis, you are looking at someone with unresolved trauma issues. Treat the trauma and you will see an improvement in the so-called “borderline personality disorder.”
When it comes to blogging, I used to be a much more open book. I saw how well that worked, so I closed the book. I learned a hard lesson that I’m never going to find “my tribe.” I’m a lone wolf, a unique entity, an acquired taste that most people don’t acquire. I’m not looking for validation anymore.
As for the drone of constant negativity, I’d much rather read someone’s real and honest discussion of their mental health issues than happen upon “Little Miss Sweet Tea and Sunshine” (yes, this is really what she called her blog and/or herself) who was, under her syrupy veneer, one of the most toxic people I’ve ever encountered.
“I simply don’t underSTAND those people who can’t see the BEAUTY in life,” she opined. “How can you go through life wallowing in self-pity? I just don’t GET it!”
People like this don’t want to get it. They don’t know or care what anyone else may have been through or are going through. They are best left well alone. As turn-offs go, Little Miss Sweet Tea and Sunshine’s blog is probably the one that turned me off the most.
If I go to a book blog, I expect to see posts about books. The idea that someone could think there were too many posts about books on a blog about books is a real head-scratcher.
If there aren’t enough posts about books on a blog? Well, it’s that person’s blog. They can post about whatever they want.
Sometimes people expect others to be professional content creators and judge personal blogs by unreasonable standards. For these people, I would advise that the blog’s creator didn’t make the blog for you. Don’t be a sanctimonious ass.
The message I get from the various blog rules and regulations is a muddled one. Do this. But not too much of this. Don’t do that. But do some of that. Your blog should have a personal touch. But not too personal a touch. Readers want to see pictures of your pets, but they really don’t give a flying flock about pictures of your pets. Readers want to know more about you as a person—no, not THAT much!
I say write what you like how you like.
Perhaps I have “oppositional defiant disorder.” That’s a new one I just learned about. It translates to being an ornery cuss. I’m ornery because I got sick and tired of people telling me what I could and couldn’t do, and what I did was never good enough for them. I finally said to hell with it and decided to do things my way.
On a personal note, constantly being harshly judged and told everything I did or enjoyed was wrong led me to becoming the kind of person who is only capable of forming superficial relationships. Any person you engage with online may be in a fragile place. It's better to do a little walking on eggshells than to behave like the proverbial bull in a China closet.
Ornery Owl Has Spoken
Free use image from Open Clipart Vectors
Ornery Owl is done with everyone's shyyyyt.
