Insecure Writer's Support Group December 2019 Featuring Billy the Saw Puppet

"Let's play a game, Cie"

"No! I don't want to!"

December 4 question - Let's play a game. Imagine. Role-play. How would you describe your future writer self, your life and what it looks and feels like if you were living the dream? Or if you are already there, what does it look and feel like? Tell the rest of us. What would you change or improve?

Well, you had to go open the can of worms, and now I can't get Billy the Jigsaw Puppet riding on his tricycle out of my head. I'm honestly not a fan of the Saw movies, but I do like this creepy-ass puppet for some reason.

If I were in high school, I'd probably think this was a really great question. As someone who's already halfway through their life and has had a number of hard knocks in the past five years, I kind of want to make it into a paper airplane and throw it out the nearest window. 

I always hated the "what are your goals for the next five years" interview question too. The answer to that one was secretly: "hopefully to have moved on from working here, but I need a job now." 

Really, yer killing me here. I'll be 55 years old in two months and eleven days. I have a lot of health problems. I have no idea how much different Future Writer Me will be from present me. She might well be ashes in an urn. If I'm still alive, I hope that I'll find an audience for my work, but, realistically, I probably won't. 

I don't like to do the creative visualization thing of imagining I'm living the dream because it tends to make my heart hurt. I don't even know what the dream is. I hope I'll still be alive except for those times when I'm so depressed that I wish I was dead. That's kind of my life. I don't have big wild dreams about making the big time. I don't have any idea what that would look or feel like. I don't even know what it is to feel secure. 

You know what I want?

I want Trump out of office. In jail, preferably, but out of office anyway. However, as Chuck D wisely pointed out, Trump is a clown but Pence is a nightmare. At least with the clown, you can see him projecting his blatant moves. Pence hides in the shadows.

I want Medicaid for all.

I want everyone to have what they need. 

Then we can start talking about niceties. 

That's the real deal.

~Cie~