Friday, July 19, 2024

Fat Friday: Handsome Sam's Closet

 

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

Meet Handsome Sam. 

I'm about to tell my fellow generously proportioned ladies why you may want to raid Handsome Sam's closet.

Sam doesn't have any ladies' lingerie or dresses in his closet, other than the stray item of his wife's that gets mixed in with his washing sometimes. He's your ordinary average guy who wears ordinary average guy clothes. 

What Sam does have that a lot of big ladies want is comfortable and affordable tank tops and t-shirts.

I was scoping the Walmart site for plus-size ladies' tank tops. Finding nothing in my size that didn't come with an extra shipping charge, I tried searching for camisoles. That was even worse. Most of these items come with a built-in bra. 

Even though these camisoles are designed for larger women, the bra is somehow fitted for smaller women. I don't have remarkably large breasts, but somehow, these built-in bras either squash my endowment up to my collarbone or slide up over my boobage, rendering the bra useless. 

The other thing that happens all too often is the item I choose appears to be a simple cotton-poly blend tank top. Then I get it, and it's some sort of lycra nightmare that I can't stand having next to my skin. 

So, what's a big gal to do?

Follow Handsome Sam's lead and order a six-pack of men's a-line tank tops from the men's underwear section. These provide the perfect loose fit and extra coverage under a t-shirt for a bigger gal who doesn't have such a large endowment that she absolutely needs a bra but has enough of an endowment that she can't wear a t-shirt without a bra. 

Speaking of T-shirts, I can't stand the way the ones styled for women fit. Why do clothing companies think every woman wants a form-fitting T-shirt with teeny little sleeves? I buy unisex or men's T-shirts because I prefer a relaxed fit. 

There are a couple of things I won't be borrowing from Sam's closet: pants and underwear. My preferred underwear is what the cool kids call "granny panties." That's fine by me. I'm easily old enough to be someone's grandmother, and granny panties are comfortable. You'll never catch me wearing butt floss.

Some women say they prefer men's jeans or warm-up pants. I can't wear pants styled for men because I have a big butt, big hips, and big thighs. Men's pants aren't designed to accommodate a big booty, major hips, and hefty thighs. Even the pants made for big men are proportioned wrong for a woman with my shape. 

It's a good thing Sam's an easygoing guy who understands why ladies want to borrow his clothes. Sam has some advice for everyone who stops by his closet. Learn to love the skin you're in and take care of your body, whatever size it is. 

Diets don't work. Health At Every Size works for every body.


"Only through extraordinary effort and education have I been able to free myself from my obsession with weight. Starting in early adolescence, I stayed abreast of the day-to-day differences on the scale. Convinced that I would be more popular if I weighed less, I started dieting to escape a weight problem that only existed in my head. I would endure weeks on a semi-starvation diet until my desperation for food drove me to eat everything in sight. I thought there was something deeply wrong with me because I could not control my unrelenting drive to eat." 

From the intro by Lindo Bacon.



Hangry Wyrm
Free use image from Clker Free Vector Images
"Fat or thin, you gotta feed the body you're in! Am I right, Ornery?"


Ornery Owl
Free use image from Open Clipart Vectors
"Exactly right, Hangry!"





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