I was pushed off the regular job train by disability. I'm still waiting for SSDI to get their heads out of their backsides and approve me. I know it can literally take years, and it's unconscionable to me.
I do write every day, but I don't have an exact word count. I write what I write. It probably averages 1000 words a day anyway. I have ADHD, and I'm always working on numerous projects.
I honestly didn't know who I was without my job, and it took me a long time to adjust. I started working when I was 16. Except for a brief period of time when my son was very little, I've never been without a job.
I don't know how to take breaks. I tend to feel guilty when I do. I was always a workaholic, and that behavior led to my becoming disabled.
I wish that society didn't encourage workaholism. Looking back, there were glaring signs that I was completely overwhelmed, but I ignored them until it was too late because I was afraid to look at who I was outside of my work persona.
When I was forced out of the paid workforce by steadily encroaching disability I discovered that I had been defining who I was by what I did. Decades later I still struggle. I do hope that SSDI gets off their fundaments soon. Do they pay backpay?
ReplyDeleteThey absolutely don't pay backpay. It often takes years to make them pay at all. Welfare in this country (as it is in many countries) is an absolute shambles.
DeleteI still struggle with not thinking of myself as a loser for the fact that I don't have a "regular" job.