Fat Friday #2: A Constant Barrage of Hate Leads to Suicide Ideation--Shocker!

Dear Debby Ryan:

Your garbage fat suit doesn't look anything like an actual fat person's body or face. Fuck right off with that shit.

Love,

An Actual Fat Person Who Is Sick to Death of This Kind of Bullshit

This is a response to a post on Medium Daily Digest by Your Fat Friend.

A lot of the time, Medium Daily Digest is a trash fire of self-congratulatory mental masturbation. However, there are a few pearls of wisdom among the rubbish. This post is one of those pearls.

The following is my response to said post:

Oh, Honey, if I could reach through the computer and hug you, I would.

I will tell you first off that I'm a fat adult. I'm also a mythological creature. I'm a fat adult who is food insecure. I only eat one or two meals a day. I am not so disabled that I can't work at all, but I can't work anything even close to full time. I don't get food benefits. But I can't possibly exist because fat people are constantly stuffing our faces, amirite? The thing that makes my situation even worse is the fact that not only does the entire world think I'm a glutton when I'm half-starved, there is this horrible personality in my brain whom we can call ED.

As you may have guessed, ED stands for Eating Disorder.

ED praises me when I starve myself.

The thing is, all of society's revulsion and all of ED's praise don't mean doodly squat. I'm still fat. Not "a little bit chunky" fat. Full on fat. 300 pounds fat.

With all of my endocrine problems, it's extremely unlikely that I'll ever be anything but fat.

I yo-yo dieted, engaged in orthorexia, and tried to hate myself thin for 33 years.

When I was young, I would lose weight with my dieting attempts. It always came back with friends. Once I was in my late 30's, the weight stopped coming off. 

I finally discovered size acceptance and Health at Every Size.

Maybe if I'd stop receiving constant messages that I'm disgusting and worthless, I wouldn't always be thinking that I wish I had the courage to end things. Believe me, I hate myself. I despise what I see in the mirror. I think I'm the worst kind of failure. I'm not even allowed to see myself in a neutral light, let alone a positive one.

Shows like "Insatiable" do nothing to help. 

By the way, is that trash still on? I gave it a thumbs down immediately. I was utterly disgusted. When I was still able to work as a home care nurse, I would sometimes watch the Disney channel with my patient. I thought that Insatiable's star, Debby Ryan, had created a really cute show with "Jessie," which she both produced and played the lead role. I was utterly disgusted with her for going along with this "Insatiable" garbage.

You're fine the way you are. I'm fine the way I am. It's our society that's messed up and wrong.

Here's a link to my comment if you want to give me hand claps for it or something.

Conclusion:

Fat people are not here to be the butt of your shitty jokes for your shitty TV show or anywhere else. 

Fat people are bullied to the point of mutilating our bodies and sometimes to the point of suicide, and society sanctions this behavior.

Fuck right off with that shit. If you're the kind of person who sanctions bullying and scapegoating, you need to check yourself, because you're an asshole.

Also, fuck your concern trolling about fat people's "health." If you care so much about my "health," give me some fucking money so I can purchase adequate food. That will go a long way to improving my health.

Oh, but I can only be "healthy" if I'm fuckable in your eyes?

That's what I thought.

Fuck right off with that shit.

~Cie~

The Cheese Grates It: "Insatiable" is About Body Positivity, My Fat Ass

First of all, @insatiable-tv​

This is a TV show which couldn’t exist without the greenlighting of scapegoating towards people who have a certain body type. They aren’t clever enough to create entertainment without making larger people the butt of jokes. When you have to be mean and cruel to bring attention to your “entertainment,” it’s a sign that you are a massive failure at entertaining.

I became bulimic at 12 and yo-yo dieted for approximately 33 years. Initially, dieting took the weight off. As I got older and my metabolism was wrecked by both frequent dieting and physical conditions, it didn’t matter how much I starved myself, I didn’t lose weight. I had to stop dieting in order to stop gaining weight. 

I didn’t have my jaw wired shut, but I did have dental surgery when I was 18 and couldn’t eat anything but pureed foods for about six weeks. I went down to 108 pounds. I had no energy, my skin was dry, my hair was brittle, but I was under the weight I should have been for my height. So, I thought I had succeeded. 

My body was not meant to be at that weight, so when I was able to eat normally again, I started gaining weight, and I hated myself. 

I tried every diet out there. None of them worked long-term.

I might not be as heavy as I am now if not for years of yo-yo dieting. So, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Diets still don’t work, but assholes like you can’t hurt me anymore. You’re boring.

Thing is, you can hurt a lot of vulnerable girls who are just like I used to be. Which is why I will fight you and your fucking bullshit every step of the way.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~