Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Insecure Writers Support Group 7 February 2024

 

I think I'll just leave this rubbish here.

February 7 question: What turns you off when visiting an author's website/blog? Lack of information? A drone of negativity? Little mention of author's books? Constant mention of books?

I don’t blog very much anymore, but back when I was more prolific, I was one of those bloggers who got a lot of flak for writing too much about too many different things and also having too many blogs. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had undiagnosed ADHD. As has happened to me all my life, people took a dump on me for the fact that my brain works differently.

I also took a lot of crap for writing about my psychological struggles. At the time, I had been misdiagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder. The diagnosis seemed to fit because there was a pattern of ups and downs. I didn’t realize until I was in my fifties that I had complex PTSD and was dealing with a fuck-ton of untreated trauma. I won’t go in depth here, but I think “borderline personality disorder” is a sexist, bullshit diagnosis. It is the modern-day hysterical neurotic. (I’m old enough that I’ve had both of these labels applied to me.)

Every single person with a “borderline personality disorder” label slapped on them has a history of trauma. The label is overwhelmingly applied to women and girls. If you are looking at someone with a “borderline personality disorder” diagnosis, you are looking at someone with unresolved trauma issues. Treat the trauma and you will see an improvement in the so-called “borderline personality disorder.”

When it comes to blogging, I used to be a much more open book. I saw how well that worked, so I closed the book. I learned a hard lesson that I’m never going to find “my tribe.” I’m a lone wolf, a unique entity, an acquired taste that most people don’t acquire. I’m not looking for validation anymore.

As for the drone of constant negativity, I’d much rather read someone’s real and honest discussion of their mental health issues than happen upon “Little Miss Sweet Tea and Sunshine” (yes, this is really what she called her blog and/or herself) who was, under her syrupy veneer, one of the most toxic people I’ve ever encountered.

“I simply don’t underSTAND those people who can’t see the BEAUTY in life,” she opined. “How can you go through life wallowing in self-pity? I just don’t GET it!”

People like this don’t want to get it. They don’t know or care what anyone else may have been through or are going through. They are best left well alone. As turn-offs go, Little Miss Sweet Tea and Sunshine’s blog is probably the one that turned me off the most.

If I go to a book blog, I expect to see posts about books. The idea that someone could think there were too many posts about books on a blog about books is a real head-scratcher.

If there aren’t enough posts about books on a blog? Well, it’s that person’s blog. They can post about whatever they want.


This is Judgy Troll.
He is full of unsolicited and unhelpful "advice."
Really he just likes putting other people down to make himself feel tough.
Don't be a Judgy Troll.

Sometimes people expect others to be professional content creators and judge personal blogs by unreasonable standards. For these people, I would advise that the blog’s creator didn’t make the blog for you. Don’t be a sanctimonious ass.

The message I get from the various blog rules and regulations is a muddled one. Do this. But not too much of this. Don’t do that. But do some of that. Your blog should have a personal touch. But not too personal a touch. Readers want to see pictures of your pets, but they really don’t give a flying flock about pictures of your pets. Readers want to know more about you as a person—no, not THAT much!

I say write what you like how you like.

Perhaps I have “oppositional defiant disorder.” That’s a new one I just learned about. It translates to being an ornery cuss. I’m ornery because I got sick and tired of people telling me what I could and couldn’t do, and what I did was never good enough for them. I finally said to hell with it and decided to do things my way.

On a personal note, constantly being harshly judged and told everything I did or enjoyed was wrong led me to becoming the kind of person who is only capable of forming superficial relationships. Any person you engage with online may be in a fragile place. It's better to do a little walking on eggshells than to behave like the proverbial bull in a China closet.

Ornery Owl Has Spoken


Free use image from Open Clipart Vectors

Ornery Owl is done with everyone's shyyyyt.




Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Tackle It Tuesday: Tackling the Truth Part 1: I Suck At Blogging

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I am a walking contradiction. It isn't that I set out to deceive anyone, but I'm not always forthcoming. This may be part and parcel of the fun shenanigans played by a brain with bipolar disorder. (Type 2)

When I am hypomanic, I tend to be very forthcoming.

When I am depressed, I withdraw because I don't figure that anyone wants to hear anything that I have to say.

When I'm euthymic, it's somewhere in between, only without the self-loathing. On one hand, I don't feel like I have anything to hide. On the other hand, I figure nobody needs to know anything that I don't feel like revealing.

I have a high degree of social anxiety. Sometimes the hypomanic component overrides this, but it always comes back. This is why I may have a day where I'm waltzing around promoting my faboo posts on blog hops, and the next day I am overwhelmed and may not be able to reply to comments for a long time.

People tend to feel that someone who doesn't reply to comments right away is simply a rude a-hole. Most of the time, I find that people are overwhelmed by trying to do too many things, for instance, they may have a job and a family and are also trying to create and promote. Also, many people have anxiety and other psychological issues and these can sideline them. I tend to assume in most cases that the person who didn't reply isn't rude, they're simply overwhelmed.

There are two things that I suck at. Sheesh, I wish it was only two. Truth be told, I suck at everything, but these are the two things that pertain to this discussion.

I suck at blogging. Seriously, I am not a good blogger. Someone once said that being a blogger and being a writer are not the same thing, and boy howdy is that ever true. 

I suck at promotion and networking and all that kind of happy crappy. I seriously wish I had the money to hire someone to do it for me because I make such a mess of it. This ties into the whole sucking at blogging thing.

Here's how I messed things up this time.

On Sunday, I thought: "Say, let's do some blog hops with my Sunday Dinner post!"

On Monday, I thought: "Well, let's continue with that..."

On Tuesday, I was still trying to get to all the blog hops that I thought it would be a good idea to share that post with.

There are some of y'all out there who participate in a metric butt-ton of blog hops every week and I have to admit that I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU DO IT! That right there is a full-time job. Maybe (probably) I'm just stupid. But my hat would be off to you if I wore a hat. I could take off my pants, socks, or shirt, but ain't nobody wants to see that.

I have a group of goals (more like a cluster f**k of goals) that I'm trying to make happen. Some of them I've been trying to make happen for years. Admissibly, it's harder for me because I'm not a social butterfly. I'm more of a social hermit crab. My attitude tends to take one of two forms.

1) I scuttle up, present my work, and say "here ya go, love it or leave it." Then I scuttle off to make something else.

2) I scuttle up, present my work, and whimper "please don't be mean to me!" Then I scuttle off and withdraw into my shell for a week or so.

Now, let's talk about me for a minute.

I've been belittled on many occasions for not honing in on JUST ONE BIG THING WITH LASER FOCUS!!!111!! I've also been belittled for having shaky self-esteem. I always beat myself up for both of these "shortcomings." 

Why would I put "shortcomings" in quotation marks?

Because I don't think these things are shortcomings. It sucks to have poor self-esteem, but how the actual hell do people think it helps someone overcome their low self-esteem when you're berating them for having low self-esteem? Improving one's self-esteem isn't the kind of thing that happens overnight.

People with low self-esteem have one thing in common. We have all been abused. Whether this abuse comes from family, schoolmates, or society at large, we've been abused. Abuse gets internalized, and it can take a long time to reverse that process. Often, it is never fully reversed.

The self-esteem issue is a post in itself, so I'm going to table that for now.

As to being unable to hone in on one target with laser focus and pigeonhole myself into a niche, I've tried that. Again and again and again. I have failed at it every time. 

It took me 54 years to learn some important things about me. First, I have ADD. This has an effect on the way I interact with the world and what it throws at me. Combine ADD with bipolar disorder and you're pretty well guaranteed to have a person who will not do well trying to have LASER FOCUS!

ADD affects the way I write. I'm a prolific writer, but I go off on sidetracks. I learned that instead of trying to write focused novels, I need to write collections of novelettes that have a central theme and that can work together or be read as separate short stories. 

My thought process works a lot like the way time works according to Dr. Who.


What I'm getting around to is this:

My writing comes first. I get very upset when I don't do it. I hate the fact that I have to promote it. It makes me very anxious. I know that I'm an acquired taste that most people don't tend to acquire. So is my writing. I doubt that I'll ever make a lot of money off my writing. But I can't hold a normal job, so I'm trying to find alternative ways to make money.

I need to promote the alternative means, just like I need to promote the writing.

But then people get angry with me for promoting...well, anything, really.

Anyway...

Here is what I'm getting around to.

I didn't mean to make anyone angry at me. I'm sorry if I didn't reply to your comment yet. You may think I'm a jerk, but I didn't mean to be. I'm still trying to refine my process, and I may never be any good at any of this. 

Thanks for reading. I'm going to go make some soda bread now.

~Your Ornery Old Aunt Cie~


Sunday, April 26, 2020

the more things change


The image is a promotional photo that was taken by the real estate agency for the house that my son and I currently live in. This shows a view from the back yard. Click to enlarge the photo.

This is a long post consisting of free verse poetry and an explanation of the exercise used in its creation as well as some kvetching at the end. If you aren't interested in that sort of thing, please hit the back button on your browser now.

the weather is partly cloudy and fair
that isn't much change from yesterday
although I guess it's maybe a little less windy
the trees are still leafless
I can see them out the window 
of this old house built in 1909
we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner here
the cats sleep in sunlight spots around the house
when I was six years old I dreamed
that my mother and I watched EMS crews remove
the dead body of a man in a yellow rain slicker 
who had been hit by a car on Coronado Parkway
the busiest street in Albuquerque
I had another dream about a woman 
wrapped in bandages like a mummy
her face was visible and bore the expression 
of one dismayed by her circumstances
she was resigned to her fate
cognizant of the fact that nobody
gave one single fuck
about the way she felt about anything
her body had been chopped into neat, perfectly equal cubes
about the size of the blocks that children play with
she was still alive beneath the bandages
but the priests didn't care and carried her to the pyramid
where she would be an object playing a role that they desired
her words unheard, her feelings unacknowledged
because women should be pretty, compliant dolls
ogled for their beauty but having no thoughts of their own
yesterday, my son mentioned seeing
a cast-off beer bottle on the side of the road
my town exports oil
my house exports wastewater and garbage
and poetry that no-one reads or cares about
when we drive to Denver
we see train cars with graffiti on the sides
people always think it's okay to ask 
how's your love life 
who's your lover 
who do you love?
I find these questions invasive 
and none of anybody's business
I am too worried about my poor health 
and the actions of the Orange Idiot
to even think about having to entertain a man
who only wants to put his hands all over me
to use and abuse and then abandon me
to hell with all of that
never again
if anyone thinks that they would be brightening my day
by telling me not to give up
that there are good men out there who would treat me right
well, kindly keep that bullshit to yourself
you can sprinkle it with a spoonful of sugar
if that would help it go down better
and then eat it yourself
because I sure as hell don't intend to swallow it
"The Orange Idiot is a Russian plant," I muse
As I sit here in my loose blue Capri pants and a purple T-shirt
and think that I'm not looking forward
to the summer with its relentless heat
I remember back in Albuquerque
my cats Rose and Frisky were both hit by cars
shortly before we moved
a cab driver was shot by drug dealers 
in front of our house
he was paralyzed from the neck down, and I don't know
if the police ever caught the bastards
we moved away from there a few months later
my father was subpoenaed
and had to fly back to Albuquerque for the trial
he didn't have much information to give
but he wanted to help the poor cab driver 
if only to show support for a man 
who would never walk or hug his grandkids again
I suspect there will be a resurgence of COVID-19 in late summer
when people want to go out to festivals 
and jump into the hormone mixer
I'm glad enough not to care about any of that
my son told me about a Chinese doctor
who tried to warn people about the Wuhan virus
his truth was suppressed
and he ended up dying from the virus he tried to expose
I hope he did not feel as if he failed
he tried his best to be a healer
the words of those who think too much are always stifled
suppressed, denounced, ridiculed
thinkers are inconvenient
this doctor deserves a posthumous Nobel prize
the Orange Idiot does not deserve a prize of any kind
no matter how much he narcissistically believes
that he is the bigly best
we could give him a prize for being the bigly worst thing 
to happen to this country since the Great Depression
we could crown him Commodus Reincarnated
the emperor who brings about the downfall
of a once-great society
outside my window
little birds sit in bare trees and on power lines
today's headline from MSN tells me 
that the nation now watches as Georgia re-opens
I don't know what to say
other than "I'm not surprised" 
and "that's a bad idea"
my son said the other day 
as we drove to remove more stuff 
from the mobile home that I used to live in
that one of the reasons the Spanish flu in 1918 
claimed so many lives
was because people became complacent 
after the first wave died down
then a second wave hit 
and they weren't taking precautions anymore
technology may change 
but people remain the same
yesterday when I was visiting
my mother showed me an old box 
containing a card sent by my great-aunt 
with two collector coins inside
there were pressed flowers in the box
and a card that I had written
in memory of someone who died in 1980 
who deeply touched my troubled life
my mother pored over the message 
on the sealed envelope
I took the card from her 
and told her that it was personal
I said I didn't want to talk about it
I put the card back in the box
my family wasn't much for privacy
they always wanted to know what I was thinking
and then told me I was wrong
I suppose that's not much different from most people
who always harshly judge those they don't understand
John River said that in this world 
no-one can be different or strange or damaged 
or they lock you up
he didn't mention that they can also sentence you 
to create your own prison of shamed silence
despite assuming the appearance of a free spirit
no-one understands someone like me
it's best to keep quiet 
head down, don't give away too much
no-one wants to hear it anyway
except for unicorns, pegasi, and alicorns
when my son was little, I read him "Good Night Moon"
we lived close to Denver then
in the town where we live now 
if you walk three minutes down an alley 
you find yourself behind a group 
of run-down modular homes
in Denver, you would see the backside 
of dilapidated townhouses or apartments
and the alley would smell of piss and spilled booze
around here, people keep their drinking to themselves
we don't have a homeless population
but many of us would be 
the homeless population anywhere else
if I walk to the edge of town I hear the sound 
of the oil trucks driving by
I fear dying having accomplished nothing
my town doesn't have a postcard because it's too small
on the sign that says "welcome to Grover"
there are some kids and farm animals
I don't want to live in the city again
I'm happy to stay here
I'd be okay with dying here
I just wish my words would be heard first
the Internet has always amazed me
it has the ability to reach billions of people
and yet I am still lonely and misunderstood
with no-one wanting to read what I say

~cie~

If you enjoy my work, please consider purchasing a copy of my current poetry collection, Another Autumn, for just 99 cents on Kindle. 


Content coyright 2020 by Cara Hartley

Please do not repost

Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it.

Sharing a link to the poem is acceptable.

Quoting portions of the poem for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.

April PAD Challenge: write a change poem

NaPoWriMo: Take five minutes to fill out the Almanac questionnaire and then write a poem from your answers.

Five minutes, my ass.           

Almanac Questionnaire
Weather: partly cloudy and fair
Flora: trees still leafless
Architecture: an old house built in 1909
Customs: we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Mammals/reptiles/fish: cats
Childhood dream: I remember two very vivid dreams from when I was six years old. In one dream, my mother and I watched as EMS crews removed the dead body of a man in a yellow rain slicker who had been hit by a car on Coronado Boulevard in Albuquerque. This was a very busy, fast-moving, and dangerous street. 
The other dream involved a woman wrapped in bandages like a mummy. Her face was visible and had an expression of someone saddened by circumstances, resigned to her fate, and cognizant of the fact that nobody gave one single fuck about the way she felt about anything. Her body had been chopped into equal cubes about the size of the blocks that children play with.
I honestly feel that both of these dreams were precognitive revelations of the way my life would play out. I have always felt like I'm an observer rather than a participant, and I have always felt ineffective when it comes to helping others because I have no resources to offer. Regarding the second dream, I have ended up being a fractured person whose hopes, dreams, and very self has been cut up and shaped to fit certain roles that others think I should fill with no regard whatsoever for what I think or feel. I am disrespected, disregarded, meaningless. I am unheard and unloved. I am not a human being, I am an object. I am nothing, I am no-one, and I don't matter a bit.
Found on the Street: a cast-off beer bottle
Export: waste water
Graffiti: on the side of train cars
Lover: what is this "lover" you speak of?
Conspiracy: The Orange Idiot is a Russian plant
Dress: loose-fitting blue Capri pants and a purple t-shirt
Hometown memory: My cats Rose and Frisky were killed by cars. A cab driver was shot by drug dealers in front of our house and left paralyzed from the neck down.

Notable person: the Chinese doctor who tried to expose the Wuhan virus before it spread and later died from it. He deserves a posthumous Nobel prize. The Orange Idiot does not deserve a Nobel prize.
Outside your window, you find: little birds and bare trees
Today’s news headline: Nation watches as Georgia re-opens. Good luck with that. My son was saying the other day that one of the reasons the Spanish flu in 1918 killed so many people was because people became complacent after the first wave died down, and then a second wave hit and they weren't taking precautions anymore.

Scrap from a letter: My mother found an old box and showed it to me when I was over on Wednesday. There was a card in it from my great-aunt which included some collectible coins. There were pressed flowers and a sealed card that I'd written to someone who had died in 1980. The card was sealed and I didn't read it, but my mother pored over the message on the outside of the envelope. I told her it was personal and to please put it back in the box. I was reminded that my family never had much regard for my privacy or my personal thoughts. Of course, this isn't very different from most people.
Animal from a myth: unicorns, pegasi, and alicorns
Story read to children at night: good night moon
You walk three minutes down an alley and you find: the backside of dilapidated modular homes
You walk to the border and hear: the sound of trucks going by
What you fear: dying having accomplished nothing
Picture on your city’s postcard: my city is a very small town. It doesn't have a postcard.

This work is cross-posted in these places:

notes
You have to be able to smell your audience, and the main audience at Publish0x stinks for this kind of post. They are primarily looking for information on cryptocurrency and other investment information.

I can't say that I've been entirely happy with my experience using Publish0x. I don't really have any complaints about the platform itself. Overall, it's great, although I really wish there was a feature allowing me to switch to HTML for post creation. It would make my life a lot easier. I love the idea of being able to receive tips for my work, although I rarely receive such, which is discouraging. My complaint stems from the fact that the main users of Publish0x are the wrong audience for artistic and creative bloggers.

I continue to use Publish0x as a platform for publishing creative posts because of the ease of sharing these posts with a potential audience. It's discouraging to look at my stats for posts such as this, which involve views but no likes or tips. I wish there was a setting that I could utilize to prevent posts like this from showing up in the "new posts" feed. I don't want to waste people's time, but I do want to utilize the advantages that Publish0x offers.

So far, I have been posting to BitPatron, Ko-fi, and Patreon for a week and have acquired no subscribers. I share these posts on Facebook, Tumblr, and LinkedIn and they generate no response. I get views on Blogger but very few responses. My books have almost no audience, and, consequently, very few sales. I am extremely discouraged.

I have stopped saying that my work's lack of renown is because it's bad. I know it isn't bad. It just doesn't appeal to the general public. This probably shouldn't come as a surprise to me, because I don't appeal to the general public either.

I have found myself becoming (more) depressed since restructuring my blogging procedures. Getting used to my new system is stressful. The fact that it hasn't brought me an increase in audience size or support is depressing. I'm not sure how long I should continue with my new system before calling it quits and going back to primarily using Blogger, where I also had a minuscule audience who rarely engages with my work and provides even less conversion to products sold.

I don't know, Man. Money and popularity shouldn't be the reason for doing creative work, but having none of either kind of sucks. I can only assume that I'm crazy because I keep writing even though the numbers show that my work is an abject failure. 

I'm pretty sure that I need to increase my dosage of Fukitol.


Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Poetry Twofer Tuesday: NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 21: Lost in Translation

Image by SilviaP_Design from Pixabay

Today's exercise from NaPoWriMo asks us to take a poem written in a language foreign to us and attempt to translate it without knowing the words. I decided to use "In Ithilien", which is written in the fictional language Neo-Sindarin, and give it a crack. This poem and more were found on this website. The original words and translation belong to their creator.

Original Poem
I laiss i-ferin thuiar
I 'wilith lim echui aur.
I mrethil peliar duiw laiss
Af filig linnol der' ennas.
Vi Ithilien, dôr lenthir lind
Gorain nesta velethril nín.

My Translation
I but a lass did travel there
I went off to lands beyond
The world is perilous to a lass
A feeling of loneliness inside me
In Ithilien I found myself
Going nowhere with none but me

The Actual Translation
The leaves of the beeches breathe
The sparkling air of day's awakening.
The birches spread the buds of leaves
For the small singing birds to linger there.
In Ithilien, land of the tuneful waterfalls
Wandering-together heals my beloved.


notes
This poem will not appear in my forthcoming poetry collection. It is an exercise primarily utilizing work created by another poet. 

If you are interested in reading more of my poetry, check out my first poetry collection here.



Text copyright Cara Hartley 2020 except as indicated.

This post is cross-posted to:
Plus my mental health side blog on Blogger which has virtually no audience and which I don't care to cultivate an audience for. It mostly continues to exist because I have OCD and have an obsessive need to categorize things. 

I am not using "OCD" as a euphemism. I literally have this condition. Using health conditions as adjectives or euphemisms isn't cool. 

Free Education
OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) is not one size fits all. It expresses itself differently in each person who has it. Not everyone who has OCD is a germophobe with an obsessive need to clean. 

I'm not germophobic and, unfortunately, someone killed my inner housekeeper. 

I have an obsessive need to categorize things, I have a strong preference for odd numbers for no logical reason whatsoever, and, most detrimentally, I have hoarding tendencies which make getting rid of things that most people would have no problem disposing of a struggle for me. 

My son and I are working to correct the problems this has caused and he is working on not allowing it to become as much of a problem in his life because he has the tendency too.


Become a Patron!

Become my patron on BitPatron.

Get access to the best Naughty Netherworld Press/Team Netherworld posts plus a shout-out including a link to a site or page of your choosing and more. It can't hurt to check it out!

Monday, February 24, 2020

Money Monday + About Me Monday: WTF is an Influencer?

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

In my quest to try and return to blogging about ways to make and save money, I headed to the Rakuten website to copy my referral code. For those who aren't aware, Rakuten, formerly known as Ebates, is a site where you can save money when you shop through their links. You can also get an extension for Chrome which will cue you if there is a potential to save money through Rakuten at a site where you are shopping.

There was also an invitation at Rakuten's site to apply to become an influencer.

At this point, most of us have probably heard the term "influencer." But like me, many of you may be saying "that's nice and all, but WTF is an influencer, really?"

According to this Quora site, an influencer is "a person who has the ability to make a group of people follow him and take him as an example due to his personality, authority, success, goals, values, abilities etc. He inspires people and becomes an anchor that keeps people together in other words he builds a community around him."

So, you know, probably not me.

According to YouTuber Critical, as seen in the video at the end of this post, an influencer is generally an egotistical douchebag who will go to extremes to feed their own narcissistic need for adulation. Hopefully, that isn't what people think of me.

Generally, I tend to see "influencers" as being fake. I don't do well with fake. I have no desire to be seen as a trend-setter. I don't care whether or not people think I'm attractive, and I am certainly not the height of fashion. I'm more like the anti-fashion broad.

I have something to say, but if I have to pretend to be something I'm not to get followers, then those are not the followers for me. I don't necessarily even want to be seen as a "leader." I make plenty of mistakes and if I decide to jump off a cliff, I don't want people jumping off after me just because I thought it was a good idea at the time. If I had my druthers, I'd like to be seen as a teacher who had the capacity to entertain.

I'm not an expert on...well, anything, really. I do know a little about blogging but I have a bit of a prickly personality and I don't play by the rules. I've been following a blogger named Janice Wald for several years now and I would recommend her to bloggers wanting to learn how to build a social media presence and monetize their online efforts.

There is a link to one of Janice's books at the end of the post. If you purchase the book through the link, I will receive a small commission from Amazon.

Janice has a weekly blog hop called Inspire Me Monday. I won't be linking there this week because this post isn't entirely family-friendly. My language didn't get too spicy, but my pal Critical definitely turns the profane heat up to Habanero!

Your Ornery Hostess with the Mostest,
Aunt Cie


Monday, January 28, 2019

Inspire Me Monday #212: Seeker Beware


Do you want to know what makes me feel really stabby?
Scams that claim you can make BIG MONEY RIGHT AWAY!!111!!11 by doing activities like blogging or taking surveys or writing or pretty much anything else.
The likelihood of anyone making lots of money right away from any of these activities is extremely slim, and the people making these claims are, I'm sorry to tell you, scammers.
It's not fun to hear that you aren't going to be immediately successful in your new ventures, particularly if you need money really badly.
The ugly truth is, these scams are preying on people's desperation.
I hate to tell you how many literal thousands of dollars I fed into scams back in the 1980s, 1990s, and on through the 2000s believing that THIS ONE was going to be THE ONE that would finally get me out of debt, able to quit my lousy job du jour, able to finally support my family without struggling.
Yes, people do make money blogging. Some people even make their entire living that way. The ability to do this doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and hard work. Some people find an audience sooner than others. Making money from blogging is a legitimate possibility, but buying into a scam program WORTH 666 KAJILLION BUCKAROOS, BUT I'LL SELL IT TO YOU TODAY FOR JUST 666,666 QUATLOOS!!1!!!1!  is not the way to make it happen. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
I've said it before and I'll say it a billion times more, and I'll keep on saying it till the day I die, and after I'm demised I'll come back on people's Ouija boards and say it:
DO NOT PAY FOR TOP SEEKRIT PAID SURVEY LISTS!
Did I ever do this?
Yes, I did.
Do you know what I discovered?
That these "top seekrit" paid survey lists give you the same links that a legitimate WAH blog like this one will give you free.
I make a small commission from sites like Cash Crate, Earnably, Fusion Cash, Inbox Dollars, Swagbucks, or Treasure Trooper if someone signs up through my link. You can visit my Paid Surveys page on this site for more and bookmark it to check for occasional updates. You will never be charged to join a legitimate paid survey site. Say "no thank you" (or something ruder) to those who would charge you for "insider information."
From an author standpoint, I have paid to have my poetry included in poetry anthologies. I paid thousands of dollars to Outskirts Press in the early 2000s to have a failed book and its failed revised version published. Outskirts Press said a lot of flattering things to me, and I swallowed the bait. I paid to have my books reviewed. I paid for them to write a press release. I paid for them to create an ebook version of my books on Amazon, something which I now do myself. I certainly wish I got $90 every time I uploaded a new ebook to Kindle.
I recommend that every independent author follow the Writer Beware blog. Forewarned is forearmed, or, as my old pal G.I. Joe always says, now you know, and knowing is half the battle. Besides, Ladies and Gents, we want the Real Prince, not the Frog-Breathed Fake. Again, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
You may be wondering how in the ding-dong-diddly-doo I consider this sobering information to be inspiring. 
Well...
I want to inspire you to save your time and money. I want to inspire you not to fall into flattering traps. I want to inspire you to real success, which generally comes on way more slowly than a montage in a feel-good movie. I want to inspire you to believe in yourself and trust your instincts, not to buy bag after bag of overpriced manure because some huckster is telling you that it will turn to gold if you just believe that you deserve it.
I want to inspire you to believe that you deserve not to be taken advantage of.
You really do deserve better than that.

Best Fishes,
Cie


Thursday, June 30, 2016

The Cheese Grates It: My So Called Life Getting in the Way of Creating

Believe it or not, all these damn self-awareness posts that I've been making lately really aren't what I enjoy doing with my time. Sometimes I need to do them to understand my own bullshit. I'm not paying anyone to be my friend for an hour a week at this point, nor am I likely to any time in the near future. So, I'm all the therapist I've got.
What I really like to do is create. But sometimes my life feels like it's been thrown into a blender on pulverize, and that's what it feels like right now. When that happens, I fear that all I'm creating is dreck. I have very little confidence in my abilities as it is, and circumstances like this tend to suck away what little confidence I do have.
I'm thinking about changing my name to Ghostbusters, by the way. Because I'm the one my employer's gonna call whenever other people on the case ain't showing up. They know they can depend on me.
I did something I'm not proud of today. I didn't answer the phone when they called. I knew they needed me to work. I'm sorry I let my patient's family down. However, I ended up working a shift I wasn't scheduled to work yesterday. I had to meet my mother for lunch today, after putting her off for the past couple weeks. I also had to go home (I was at my son's apartment) because I knew my cats were low on water.
I was tired and drained and I didn't want the added stress of saying "no." So I didn't answer the phone.
A couple of other things I've been thinking about lately.
Google Docs sucks. I hate that I can't categorize my stuff the way I like. This is one reason I have multiple blogs. It's easier for me to blog stuff and then go back and cut and paste it into the documents on my external hard drive later.
I don't have the external hard drive with me because I don't want to be hauling around my five pound hog of a laptop to my home care case. I already have my med bag, my tote bag with my lunch and other things I deem necessary, my hog of a purse, and my tech bag containing my tablet, my bluetooth keyboard, extra charger packs, and wiring. Besides, at this point, the laptop is my home computer until I can get my $700 paperweight fixed. It would be a pain in the ass to unhook all the peripherals every time.
I currently have one main story that I'm working on with Team Netherworld, but there are a few secondary stories and lots and lots and lots of proto-stories. I can't make my brain be what it isn't, and at this stage of my life, I'm not interested in trying. My brain is going to diversify.
If you read all of the stories we have out there, they have a common theme. I'm not going to pretend they don't. Most of them will never be for public consumption, but sometimes one of us shares a chapter here and there.
I put the Rattling Bones Undead Musician Magazine blog on private. I had the Encyclopedia Netherworld blog on private for a few weeks. I put Encyclopedia Netherworld back to public but I don't know if it will stay that way. Not much of anyone interacts with these blogs anyway. I was starting to feel that the creations being shared were a bit too personal.
When I write stuff like this, I'm sort of explaining things to other people. However, the main purpose is to give myself permission to be what I already am. I'm actually quite tired of apologizing to people for being what I am. I'm not holding a gun to your head and telling you to love me. However, there is no reason to be critical of me either. I don't come to your space and rip holes in everything you do. I would appreciate the same consideration.
Note: This is not directed at any one person. It's expression of frustration over repeated criticisms of my method over time by people who a) don't get it and b) don't care that they don't get it, they just want to make themselves feel important by criticizing someone who does things differently from the way they do.
Psychologically, I'm probably in a mixed state right now. I'm slightly irritable, which is making me snarky. I'm having trouble sleeping even though I'm constantly tired. I've got a pretty good "I don't give a fuck what you think of me or my writing" mood going, which tends to come with hypomania. The exhaustion and sore muscles, however, tend to be part and parcel of depression. Hence, mixed state.
Thing is, a lot of the time people come along and find me during a depressive state. They feel sorry for me and try to encourage me. Then I get into a euthymic or hypomanic state, which makes them think they succeeded. When I go into a depressive state again, they think I'm not appreciative of their help and that I'm just "not trying hard enough." 
Sometimes they leave on their own at this point, because they don't want to waste their efforts on someone who "just wants to sit around feeling sorry for themselves." Sometimes I end up getting snarky, which is something I'm not proud of, and I drive people away, including people who actually do want to help. Only recently have I been able to realize that I have a real mean streak that I've developed over the years as a defense mechanism. The problem with a mean streak is, it tends to flare up without any sort of regard for intent on the part of its target. I feel very badly that I've hurt people who were actually well-intentioned. There has to be a better way of handling things than I sometimes do.
Here's the thing: a person like me, who is badly broken but who can pass for normal, is like a broken vase that has been put back together with epoxy. The epoxy has been painted over, so the vase may not appear to be damaged. 
The person says to themselves, "well, Vase, now that I've put you back together, you're good as new. So, let's let you do what vases are supposed to do."
The person then puts water in the vase and gets pissed off when the vase springs a leak. Upon closer examination, the cracks are still there. The person throws out the vase and goes to buy a new vase.
With me, the cracks are always going to be there. I'm always going to be broken. Not everyone heals at the same rate. Some of us don't ever heal.
I'm hoping I can get back to creating soon. It's not that I'm exactly a dull subject, but I kind of like to think about things other than myself and the shitty state of the world.
The Cheese Ghostbusters Hath Grated It 



Monday, June 13, 2016

My Brain Doesn't Work Normal

Over the years, I've had a lot of well-meaning normal people tell me how to make my writing "better." What it boils down to is I'm supposed to write more like normal people and less like, well, people whose brains aren't normal. 
I've tried to do this, but it just doesn't work for me. I will always have a myriad of sub-plots. New stories can leap into my brain at the drop of the hat (or be suggested to me by a spectral friend, but that's part and parcel of a different blog.) I will always have a number of projects going at the same time.
Let's look at the spider webs above. On the surface, I can pass for "normal." I don't really raise any red flags. I'm a fairly innocuous looking person who tends to keep to myself. In my current state, it is highly unlikely that I would be put on a psych hold, even when I'm presenting as extremely depressed. I know the laws of material reality. While I know I can be paranoid, I don't believe that there's a red under my bed or a little yellow man in my head. However, I would never ridicule anyone who does live with such beliefs.
In your average conversation, if my thoughts were a spider web, they might initially appear to form your "normal" spider web. On closer examination, however, certain deviations would be observed. On being told that I should stop these deviations, I am able to do so for a while. However, my mind will eventually rebel and will go back to thinking the way it thinks, and I will go back to writing the way I write.
I am not you, Well Meaning Normal People. I am not normal. 
I have accepted that my writing will probably never achieve popularity. However, it is therapeutic for me. Now, you write your way and let me write mine. I never told you to stop writing the way you write or stop being the way you are. Why do all of you think it's okay to tell me to comply with your rules on writing, thinking, or being? Who I am, how I write and what I think isn't harming you.
I'm mentally ill, not stupid. I'm not breaking any laws. I'm just not being "normal." And guess what? I never will be. So stop trying to stuff a square peg in a round hole. I'm never going to fit. 
Either accept me the way I am, or leave me be. 

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~