Monday, June 13, 2016

My Brain Doesn't Work Normal

Over the years, I've had a lot of well-meaning normal people tell me how to make my writing "better." What it boils down to is I'm supposed to write more like normal people and less like, well, people whose brains aren't normal. 
I've tried to do this, but it just doesn't work for me. I will always have a myriad of sub-plots. New stories can leap into my brain at the drop of the hat (or be suggested to me by a spectral friend, but that's part and parcel of a different blog.) I will always have a number of projects going at the same time.
Let's look at the spider webs above. On the surface, I can pass for "normal." I don't really raise any red flags. I'm a fairly innocuous looking person who tends to keep to myself. In my current state, it is highly unlikely that I would be put on a psych hold, even when I'm presenting as extremely depressed. I know the laws of material reality. While I know I can be paranoid, I don't believe that there's a red under my bed or a little yellow man in my head. However, I would never ridicule anyone who does live with such beliefs.
In your average conversation, if my thoughts were a spider web, they might initially appear to form your "normal" spider web. On closer examination, however, certain deviations would be observed. On being told that I should stop these deviations, I am able to do so for a while. However, my mind will eventually rebel and will go back to thinking the way it thinks, and I will go back to writing the way I write.
I am not you, Well Meaning Normal People. I am not normal. 
I have accepted that my writing will probably never achieve popularity. However, it is therapeutic for me. Now, you write your way and let me write mine. I never told you to stop writing the way you write or stop being the way you are. Why do all of you think it's okay to tell me to comply with your rules on writing, thinking, or being? Who I am, how I write and what I think isn't harming you.
I'm mentally ill, not stupid. I'm not breaking any laws. I'm just not being "normal." And guess what? I never will be. So stop trying to stuff a square peg in a round hole. I'm never going to fit. 
Either accept me the way I am, or leave me be. 

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

No comments:

Post a Comment

This is a safe space. Be respectful.