Macy's got dragged for selling this atrocious, body-shaming product and they pulled it from their shelves.
Here is what "Pourtions," the company that manufactured this overpriced, size-policing shit show had to say
As the creators of Pourtions, we feel badly if what was meant to be a lighthearted take on the important issue of portion control was hurtful to anyone. Pourtions is intended to support healthy eating and drinking. Everyone who has appreciated Pourtions knows that it can be tough sometimes to be as mindful and moderate in our eating and drinking as we’d like, but that a gentle reminder can make a difference. That was all we ever meant to encourage.
Well, sit down before you hurt yourself, you sanctimonious schmuck, and let Big Mama school your entitled ass.
"The important issue of portion control."
A lot of big people do have an issue with "portion control," oh Sanctimonious One.
It's called "being food insecure."
That's right, a lot of large folk do not have enough to eat, let alone to buy your overpriced crap designed to encourage them to hate themselves even more than they've already been taught to do all their lives.
I, for one, only eat one or two meals per day. Neither of these are large meals. I eat like this because I can't afford to eat regular meals. Even though I have diabetes and should be eating regularly, I can't. Yes, I have a problem with "portion control." I can't control the fact that I'm not able to eat enough because when you're disabled you're forced into poverty. Therefore, as I have wisely said to many fat-shaming asshats, "fuck you."
"Pourtions is intended to support healthy eating and drinking."
Yes, if you call encouraging eating disorders "healthy eating and drinking," I guess this crap is doing it right.
"It can be tough to be as mindful and moderate in our eating and drinking as we would like."
You know what, Genius, if you're hungry all the time, you're doing it wrong, and I swear to the goddess, anytime I hear that fucking phrase "mindful eating," I just want to puke on somebody. By the way, I spent a good number of my years forcing myself to puke after eating. I started doing that when I was twelve, so I could, you know, fit into "skinny jeans." Because after all, only horrible bloated land whales wear "mom jeans", whatever the hell those are. Because after all, there's nothing ickier than the body of a mature woman. Seriously, ewwwwww! If you don't have the figure of a pre-teen girl, you're doing it wrong!
Never mind that there are healthy fat people and unhealthy thin people. Never mind that there are thin people who can shovel in food by the truckload and not gain weight and fat people who practice "mindful portion control" to the point of starvation and are still fat.
In short, fuuuuuuuck you.
"A gentle reminder can make a difference."
Yes, "food coma" is a high-larious "gentle reminder" to all you ham planets out there that you need to mindfully restrict your portions lest you end up wearing the horrible Mom Jeans. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is worse than that.
In closing, may I gently remind you:
Thank you to "The Mighty" for sharing this cluster fuck.
I will share some better plates for you to put on the table at the end of the post. Because you deserve good things, whether you are a slender reed indeed or large and in charge. You deserve plates that you can eat off of which won't have shitty messages written on them needling you to hate and deprive yourself.
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