Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp

Self-Help Sucks

The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)

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Thursday, March 10, 2022

Make It Happen Thursday: Taking Stock in the Pressure Cooker

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

My accomplishments for the week:

I am currently working on a selection of 8 poems to submit for consideration to The Temz Review. If anyone else is interested in submitting work to them, here is the link.

I will probably collect the poems I create for the April PAD Challenge/NaPoWriMo into a chapbook to submit to The Temz Review. This means that I will be publishing none of these poems on the Poetry of the Netherworld blog.

I would like to give shout-outs to each of the sites whose prompts helped me create today's alphabet poem for my aforementioned WIP. Give them a visit!

https://dversepoets.com/2022/03/08/poetics-carroll-crush-saga/

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2022/02/21/wordle-276/

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2022/02/28/wordle-277/

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2022/03/07/wordle-278/

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2022/03/01/march-2022-writing-prompts/

https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2022/03/10/reenas-xploration-challenge-4/

https://river-driftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/2022/03/wednesdays-words-on-friday_0165617280.html

https://sundayswhirligig.blogspot.com/

I've been consistent with working on this project and I submitted a 1000-word prose poem to the Syncopation Journal. So I have been successful on the poetry front. My other projects, not so much.

Today's question from 52 Weeks of Writing is:

Did you expect too little of yourself, too much, or was your goal just right?

Ah, you know, I totally cut myself some slack and have been chillin' like Goldilocks eating just-right porridge in a just-right cozy bed all week. No worries!

Ornery, stop lying, you say.

Right, you caught me.

I totally expected too much of myself like I always do.

The second question is:

If you didn't reach your goal(s), what could you do next week to make sure you do?

I'm going to keep rolling with the Submission Grinder to find places to submit my work. Fortunately, I won't have a stupid blood draw hanging over my head for a while. That crap will be done tomorrow along with a few errands. While some of you may wonder why a blood draw is such a big deal, it's because I live in a remote rural area and have to drive 60 miles to get it done, and my veins are a complete trash fire. Not my idea of a good time.

Regarding my independent, self-published work, I just need to do my best to stick to my schedule.

I've already got myself scheduled for book promos and reviews at Readers Roost, and I need to scale way back on those. It's always exciting to sign up for them so I overdo it. I need to put myself in check.

Third question:

What have you learned about yourself and/or your writing over the past week?

I have learned that I am still discovering new ways of doing things after operating with a stressful and ineffective mindset that became ingrained decades ago. The definition of crazy is doing the same thing that hasn't worked in the past and expecting it to work this time. I'm trying to cut loose from the crazy.

Learning to be driven by genuine inspiration rather than by anxiety and fear of failure is not as easy as it sounds but I think I am finally making some headway.

A big thanks to Eugenia at Go Dog Go Cafe for hosting today's blog hop.

https://godoggocafe.com/2022/03/10/make-it-happen-thursday-

Spirit of the Universe, please help me be patient with myself and to realize that no matter how small an accomplishment may seem, it is a step in the right direction.

Here is the soundtrack for today's post.

Here is the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@jazz:89/Kenny.Burrell_Blue.Lights.Vol.2_1958:1?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Free Use Image from Open Clipart Vectors

Resource Books:

52 Weeks of Writing

Self-Help Sucks

The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

This work is the intellectual property of Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp and Naughty Netherworld Press.

Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.

Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.

Come check out Readers Roost, the online book store featuring works by indie and small press authors. Discover your next great read at the Roost! It's the link you need when you wanna read.

Buy me a coffee

Or buy me a coffee here

Join me on Patreon!

Subscribe for as little as $1 per month.

https://syncopationliteraryjournal.wordpress.com/call-for-submissions/

Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Where It's At Wednesday: The Continuing Journey #MFRWAuthor

Image by Piero Di Maria from Pixabay

Today's question from 52 Weeks of Writing is:

Did you achieve any goals not on last week's list? If yes, write them down here.

Why yes, in fact I did. I discovered the Submission Grinder, and I submitted a 1000-word prose poem to the Syncopation Journal. Here's the link in case you'd like to see about submitting work to them too. It's a non-paying publication, but it is exposure for your work and there's no submission fee.

Here's the link to the handy Submission Grinder. I tracked my entry to the Syncopation Journal on my dashboard. The service is free. If you like it and can afford to do so, drop them a donation.

https://thegrinder.diabolicalplots.com/

I also discovered The Temz Review and am creating a collection of 10 poems to submit to them over the next 10 days. I used prompts from Writers Digest and Eugi's Causerie to create today's poem entitled Survival.

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/englyn-unodl-union-poetic-forms

https://amanpan.com/eugis-weekly-prompt-survival-march-8-2022/

And now, today's Deep Thoughts.

Sometimes the daily journey looks very much the same, except there always seems to be something coming out of left field. It's pretty exciting when that Something looks like a pair of hip angels or friendly aliens coming to tell me that one of my pieces was accepted or that there is a sudden surge of sales for one of my books. However, we all know that isn't usually the case.

Usually, the thing coming out of left field isn't awful, it's just annoying. It's something along the lines of having to drive 60 miles to go get quarterly labs drawn and having to drink enough to float a fleet of battleships so they even have a chance of finding my shitty veins without leaving me looking like I was the loser in a barroom brawl.

I try to bundle annoyances, so I'll go pick up my thyroid medication and grab a few things at Wal Fart and maybe a pizza from Costco on the way home depending on how I feel.

I found this humorous meme that I'd like to share.

I would ask people to remember that solidarity with Ukraine doesn't mean hatred for the Russian citizenry, which includes vulnerable populations such as disabled people, the elderly, infants and children. Women become more vulnerable to domestic abuse and sexual assault during wartime.

I am supporting the International Committee of the Red Cross this Charity Sunday. Follow the link to read my post. I will donate a dollar for every comment I receive on the post, rounding up to the closest number divisible by 5. So if I receive 8 comments on the post, I will donate $10 or more.

https://www.naughtynetherworldpress.com/2022/02/charity-sunday-international-committee.html

My writing work has been a bit sporadic this week. I'm on my second month of reading Adrift for the Online Book Club. It's a good book but a long one. I've got a volunteer review due on the 17th.

One place where I'm still allowing myself to become overwhelmed is with book promotions and reviews. I hope that nobody takes the fact that I'm going to reduce the number of these that I'm doing personally. I need to take care of myself.

Part of the problem is I really want to help my fellow authors promote your work. So many of you have written such amazing stories. I wish I could read every one of them.

My heart is feeling squashed right now. I remember having nightmares when my son was little about running from assailants with him in my arms. That such terror has been real for many mothers saddens me to the core. That it will continue to be real for mothers because there will always be wicked megalomaniacs who care nothing for the most vulnerable lives enrages me.

I know I'm not the best writer in the world by a long shot. I know that much of what I write is probably schlock. But if that schlock lets someone forget about their pain for a while, then I've done what I set out to do and I'm proud of that. To paraphrase Stephen King, most of what I write is salami. I try to make sure that it's good salami, but in the end, salami is salami.

I happen to like salami, so let's wrap this up by raising a glass and toasting salami.

Here's to more salami!

Spirit of the Universe, remind me that it really doesn't matter if my writing is a critical failure. If my work brings joy in any way to a struggling world, that is real success. Please help me strive to make my words have the greatest impact they can, even if that impact is simply making someone forget their pain for a moment. Amen.

Here is the soundtrack for today's post.

Here is the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@jazz:89/Ornette.Coleman_New.York.Is.Now_1968_flac:2?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Free use image from Open Clipart Vectors

Resource Books:

52 Weeks of Writing

Self-Help Sucks

https://mfrw.blogspot.com/

The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

This work is the intellectual property of Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp and Naughty Netherworld Press.

Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.

Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.

Come check out Readers Roost, the online book store featuring works by indie and small press authors. Discover your next great read at the Roost! It's the link you need when you wanna read.

Buy me a coffee

Or buy me a coffee here

Join me on Patreon!

Subscribe for as little as $1 per month.

Get the latest literary happenings and slices of life in your inbox! Now with an exciting new chapter or poem in every issue. You might end up with a one-of-a-kind rarity from the eldritch depths of the Netherworld!

https://cthulhu.fandom.com/wiki/The_Silver_Key

Sunday, February 20, 2022

Come As You Are Party: Breaking Down my Breakdown

Trigger warning for those who want or need it: Suicide Ideation

"The readers in the world - regardless of how much or how little writing talent they have - become the people who succeed in life."

Unless they're me.

I am an abject failure.

I am burned out on reading, and on promoting other people's books.

I am discouraged about writing. Clearly, I can't cut it in the popular writing world, but I feel like I've been ousted from my own universe and can't get back in.

Nobody wants to read what I write, but I can't give the people what they want because what they want doesn't interest me.

52 Weeks of Writing encourages me to find an "accountability partner."

I'm already accountable. I am a fucking taskmaster. I won't cut myself a break. I'll sleep when I'm dead. And so on.

This is what I need:

I think that Stephen, being the King of Horror, has forgotten what it's like to not know if anyone needs or wants what you write. He knows that someone out there needs his stories.

Clearly, nobody needs or wants my stories. There will never be a single soul who says "boy, Story X by C.L. Hart really helped me through" or "wow, that poem by Ornery Owl really spoke to me," or even "that cheeky Lil DeVille's spicy stories cheered me up when I needed it."

If I haven't made it by almost 60, I'm not going to make it. Honestly, it's discouraging rather than inspiring to be in the company of people who have made it to some degree. I'm going to have to resign myself to the fact that my stories are just a coping mechanism to keep me from topping myself. I wanted something more from them and I wanted something more for them. They deserve better.

I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of this breakdown. I'm sick of living in a world of broken-down things that I don't have the money to fix or replace. I'm sick of living in poverty. I'm sick of all my health problems.

I've just spent over an hour trying to correct my whacked-out blood sugar. Having zombie organs floating around in my body doing jack shit is a fabulous adventure. Please do try it sometime.

On second thought, don't.

I considered shooting the moon with my insulin this morning. Just dialing the pen as far as it could go and saying goodbye to this failed existence. The only reason I didn't is that my son would be in dire circumstances without my help. It's strange how I can be indispensable and yet an utterly useless piece of shit all at the same time. Such a dichotomy I am.

Don't tell me to "get help." There isn't any. I don't trust counselors.

Don't tell me to "take medication." Psych meds make me psychotic. I don't enjoy being psychotic.

Don't tell me to "go to the ER." This isn't an emergency. This is suicide ideation. If I went to the ER every time I experienced suicide ideation, I'd have to live there. Being placed on a psych hold wouldn't help me, it would make things worse. I know what's wrong with me. I'm fucking discouraged and I'm sick of it all. I need a win and I'm not going to get one.

I'm going to have to do something else with my writing. Pursuing fame and money makes me depressed. Well, more depressed.

I'm going to have to go back to writing what I like to write.

I need to find the key to the gate of dreams again.

Lead on, Mr. Lovecraft.

The line about the key to my dreams is a reference to the story "The Silver Key" by H. P. Lovecraft. You can read the story here if you are so inclined.

The first few lines go a little bit something like this:

When Randolph Carter was thirty he lost the key of the gate of dreams. Prior to that time he had made up for the prosiness of life by nightly excursions to strange and ancient cities beyond space, and lovely, unbelievable garden lands across ethereal seas; but as middle age hardened upon him he felt those liberties slipping away little by little, until at last he was cut off altogether.

Lovecraft was writing about himself when he penned this story. He struggled with depression including suicide ideation just like yours truly.

The story's protagonist, Randolph Carter, is actually a bit of a dick. He brings misery to the life of the hapless Yaddithian wizard Zkauba. My yet-to-be-edited novel "The Wizard's Key" includes a sympathetic account of Zkauba's plight, which led him to call on Nyarlathotep to free him from Carter's influence.

I hope it isn't too late to re-open the gate.

Perhaps it would be best if I slept for another couple of hours. We're going to try the journey to my mother's house once again today.

Spirit of the Universe, please help me recapture the joy that writing once gave me. Please help me remember what's important. It isn't validation. Still, it hurts seeing so many other people winning when I seem to do nothing but lose.

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Free use image from Pixabay

Resource Books:

52 Weeks of Writing

Self-Help Sucks

The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press and Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp.

Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.

Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.

Come check out Readers Roost, the online bookstore featuring works by indie and small press authors. Discover your next great read at the Roost! It's the link you need when you wanna read.

Buy me a coffee

Or buy me a coffee here

Join me on Patreon!

Subscribe for as little as $1 per month.

Get the latest literary happenings and slices of life in your inbox!

Now with a new free chapter, poem, or something every month for subscribers.

Get it before anyone else does, or own an unpublished rarity.