tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post4013075968938197772..comments2024-03-25T15:16:05.486-06:00Comments on Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp: WEP Challenge October 2022: ThrillerOrnery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost http://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-20026568334756133952022-10-29T20:48:54.901-06:002022-10-29T20:48:54.901-06:00I don't really think I'm either fierce or ...I don't really think I'm either fierce or strong, mostly too ornery to let the bastards grind me down completely. And I really don't feel like I'm in control of my life. I'm on disability, which is very demoralizing. I'm hardly a role model. I just keep telling myself I'm not going to let any more bastards fuck me over. Except the government, I guess, but I'm hardly a special case there. Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-38562539919107374412022-10-29T20:45:38.663-06:002022-10-29T20:45:38.663-06:00Thank you. Now, if I could just pull something tog...Thank you. Now, if I could just pull something together enough to make it publishable! It's somehow harder with nonfiction than with fiction, at least for me.Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-60244083554970196212022-10-29T07:17:16.489-06:002022-10-29T07:17:16.489-06:00Good, honest writing. Thanks for sharing. Labels c...Good, honest writing. Thanks for sharing. Labels can be crushing and what happened to you as a child is trauma. It's encouraging to read about how you've taken control of your life and found ways to overcome your PTSD. Carry on, fierce and strong!Mary Aalgaardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10089502829581772836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-61605052423995612582022-10-24T19:05:42.035-06:002022-10-24T19:05:42.035-06:00Hi Cie. I came back for another read and I just wa...Hi Cie. I came back for another read and I just want to say, keep going. As you say, you may be able to help someone else.Denise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-89844625621715425222022-10-23T21:15:10.976-06:002022-10-23T21:15:10.976-06:00Actually, one of the reasons I didn't end up o...Actually, one of the reasons I didn't end up offing myself is my sense of humor, and I definitely haven't worked out what's what as far as life goes, I just understand my past actions better than I once did. The other reason I've survived is I didn't want the people who would gloat over my suicide to win. In other words, being ornery saved my bacon. Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-83188545983808512792022-10-23T21:12:50.119-06:002022-10-23T21:12:50.119-06:00Thank you. I wasn't in a good place to be able...Thank you. I wasn't in a good place to be able to look at my experiences from a somewhat objective perspective until recently. There are benefits to getting older and angrier. Although these days, my anger has less of indignance and more of sadness that anyone should have to suffer as I did. Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-19421936085129359762022-10-23T21:10:59.424-06:002022-10-23T21:10:59.424-06:00I prefer writing fiction, but for some reason part...I prefer writing fiction, but for some reason part of me feels like airing my dirty laundry. I have hopes that it might help someone who's going through what I went through, but there's part of me that always says "who would want to read about YOU?"Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-50622569290319827192022-10-23T21:09:32.177-06:002022-10-23T21:09:32.177-06:00I always had to do the one second at a time approa...I always had to do the one second at a time approach with panic attacks. Also, while sitting in the dentist's chair trying not to have a panic attack! I do okay with cleanings, but I wasn't able to go to the dentist for seven years and I had five cavities. Not my idea of a good time!Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-62847687774317257162022-10-23T21:07:38.004-06:002022-10-23T21:07:38.004-06:00Thank you. :-)Thank you. :-)Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-22594106704509818952022-10-23T21:07:12.289-06:002022-10-23T21:07:12.289-06:00Of everything I've ever written, I think the m...Of everything I've ever written, I think the memoir has been the most contentious. <br />It's a funny thing. Those who have done truly awful things are often quite arrogant, while people who have harmed no-one but themselves are often filled with self-loathing. This world is weird. Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-89538478539718596422022-10-23T21:05:39.913-06:002022-10-23T21:05:39.913-06:00Thank you. It works for me--usually.Thank you. It works for me--usually.Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-8986172378416522052022-10-23T21:05:19.899-06:002022-10-23T21:05:19.899-06:00Things are better, but it took becoming disabled a...Things are better, but it took becoming disabled and moving to the middle of nowhere before I started to understand myself. Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-25771802558751117402022-10-23T21:04:22.792-06:002022-10-23T21:04:22.792-06:00Oh, I've written the blasted thing multiple ti...Oh, I've written the blasted thing multiple times. Getting it to the point where I deem it worth publishing is another story entirely!<br />Of course you are welcome in the Secret Society. Your name is perfect! ;-)Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-37940257504060153572022-10-22T07:38:54.947-06:002022-10-22T07:38:54.947-06:00Hi Cie - it's often difficult for us (the outs...Hi Cie - it's often difficult for us (the outsiders of your life) to understand ... I must say after my year in Canada where I was with someone who, I eventually worked out, had bad Autism ... and I could through my own rationalisation once I got back to the UK work out what was happening - but obviously I'm in the wrong now ... as my family can't see it - well for me it's a funny old world - for you most definitely not. I'm glad you've worked out what's what ... and we've learnt lots from your story here ... thanks for sharing. With thoughts - HilaryHilary Melton-Butcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17596532480645510678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-8210144438844722232022-10-20T19:33:29.756-06:002022-10-20T19:33:29.756-06:00This is so real and honest. Thank you for sharing....This is so real and honest. Thank you for sharing. It's awful it took you so long to get the answers you needed, but I like your outlook. One day at a time.L.G. Keltnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07624902347418621283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-43349278567558007652022-10-20T16:12:17.792-06:002022-10-20T16:12:17.792-06:00Perhaps each day brings just enough hope and commi...Perhaps each day brings just enough hope and commitment to continue our healing. And our acceptance of who we are and how we became to be truly ourselves. I, too, have drafted a memoir to find it a healing process . . . but, like you, I'm not at all ready to go public. Instead, my writing takes me other places, and, like here, sharing with others, one story at a time, only sometimes. Perseverance. Your stories and experiences will help others as well.Beth Camphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12682622561621269515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-35952249657322931362022-10-20T08:46:10.379-06:002022-10-20T08:46:10.379-06:00Thanks for sharing openly with your fellow writers...Thanks for sharing openly with your fellow writers. It takes a lot of courage to talk about such serious life issues. Sometimes one day at a time doesn’t work. Sometimes it’s one minute at a time, one second at a time, one breath at a time. I’m glad you’ve found the correct diagnosis. Makes it easier to understand your feelings and behavior and help yourself cope and find ways to move forward.Lenny Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12822588007434789481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-87096923583255263892022-10-20T06:29:29.518-06:002022-10-20T06:29:29.518-06:00Hi,
You know what I like? That you have the guts t...Hi,<br />You know what I like? That you have the guts to keep going and to find out who you are. It doesn't mean that your journey is over, but you have said, that's enough! I like that. <br />Take care.<br />Shalom aleichemPat Garciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04204650731843984192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-45800303105468370812022-10-19T18:43:34.419-06:002022-10-19T18:43:34.419-06:00You should never despise yourself. And I don't...You should never despise yourself. And I don't think anyone ever gets all their questions answered. I'm glad you have the attitude - "well, let's get to it, come what may." I saw this in one of your replies. Memoirs must be hell to write. I've always wanted to write a travel memoir. That's as far as I'd go. Denise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-77430809816883975582022-10-19T18:20:17.782-06:002022-10-19T18:20:17.782-06:00Thank you for your candour. Always greatly pleased...Thank you for your candour. Always greatly pleased to read a non-fiction entry. One day at a time is a good modus operandi. Nilanjana Bosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08656370320322301943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-72166038276658112012022-10-19T11:51:31.708-06:002022-10-19T11:51:31.708-06:00I'm sorry you went through so much shit in you...I'm sorry you went through so much shit in your youth. Teenage years could be brutal. I hope everything is better now.Olga Godimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00358026814685611301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-20262019282251862482022-10-19T11:25:09.897-06:002022-10-19T11:25:09.897-06:00Congratulations on writing your memoir! You are a ...Congratulations on writing your memoir! You are a courageous person to share your life with the world. Your story matters. I bet your story will help someone who is the same place you were. Keep going! I wrote about just one year in my life. It sounds easier, but it isn't, but oh so satisfying. BTW, may I have a membership in the Authors Secret Society? My Pen Name fits the rules for membership. J.Q. RoseJ.Q. Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04710790553616621103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-79192674625908560502022-10-19T09:34:09.843-06:002022-10-19T09:34:09.843-06:00I actually have many more questions than answers. ...I actually have many more questions than answers. But I have found a way to function and not despise myself most of the time.<br />I've been trying to write a memoir for years. I have many iterations of it. I've decided I'm going to take my story decade by decade and see if that will work. I wouldn't want my mother to see it, but she's never taken an interest in my writing, and I wouldn't publish it under my real name.Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-64489399585043095182022-10-19T09:30:59.996-06:002022-10-19T09:30:59.996-06:00Maybe it's because I'm from a different ge...Maybe it's because I'm from a different generation (early gen-X), but labels have never done that for me. I was labeled retarded by the school psychologist. Turns out I'm a little bit dyslexic, mostly with numbers. I do poorly with pattern recognition tests, which is the type of IQ test that was administered to me. I also have a bit of trouble with balance because of frequent ear infections as a child. This got me placed in the "special needs" gym class because I couldn't do gymnastics. All good little girls should be able to gymnastics, right? At least, this is what they believed in 1976. I can tell you the other kids had a field day with it. I may not be a genius, but I'm not "retarded." I understood what they were saying about me. They understood what they were saying about me and they knew it got to me. That's why they said it.<br />I was also labeled a "freak" by one of the nurses in the mental hospital where I met the clown of a shrink I mentioned in the essay. I told her "better a freak like me than a bitch like you." I was treated subhuman in that place. I resolved that I would take myself out before allowing anyone to put me back in such a position. I have kept that promise for 41 years, and I intend to keep it for the next 41.Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8427109816373145171.post-32826912103103762522022-10-19T09:25:03.379-06:002022-10-19T09:25:03.379-06:00The days when I have a spike in self-loathing are ...The days when I have a spike in self-loathing are the worst. Most of the time, I've learned to say "well, let's get to it, come what may."Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.com